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Toonami Infolink :: View topic - I need a few volenteers to give me a hand....
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Post subject: I need a few volenteers to give me a hand....
Hey ppl. Im 14 and am *gasp* writing a story/novel. My inspiration is my girlfriend and the etire cultural deformity that is my life. I'm looking for a few good writers who will, out of the goodness of their heart, help me out a bit. It's an adventure/romance kinda story, and all my friends say it needs a little work. My GF helped me with the romance scenes, seeing that thy're based on us, but i have trouble with the action scenes. HELP!!
My request:
Someone between the ages of 13 - [insert your age here]
A writer whose willing to read my mediocre story and help make it better
a bag of jolly ranchers
below is a peice of writing. a romance scene:
"But Keitaru, when you said that, I felt as if you were mocking me, I felt like you didn’t care…� Amara looked up, “… didn’t care that I said I love you.� Keitaru placed his hands on her shoulders, and spoke in a firm voice, “But Amara, I do care. I really do, but the truth is, I have problems expressing myself, and telling someone you like them just doesn’t come natural to me. It like trying to teach an ant how to swim. It’s not easy.�
Amara’s eyes suddenly blazed with a mix of emotions as she knocked Keitaru’s hands off her shoulders. “You’re damn right it’s not easy. I’ve been trying to tell you for the past few months, but have you noticed? No. Do you get any of the signals I’ve been sending you? No. Do you even acknowledge that I may somehow, possibly, even remotely like you? No. You just sit there quietly, and act like nothing’s happening. You’re thick Keitaru, really thick.�
As she spoke her eyes filled with tears. Keitrau was left speechless by this sudden outrage by Amara, whom by now was in total despair. Keitaru slowly moved cloer to Amara. He raised his habds a placed one on her shoulders, and one on her cheek. He raised her head up so that they saw each other, eye to eye. Amara tried to turn away, but Keitaru stopped her. "I'm sorry, I really am. Can you forgive me?"
*i know, it sucks, but when i get a few helping hands, the mushy scenes will get a little more....uh....intense:twisted:
if you feel like helpin, give me a call: Nakato_The_Sorcerer@juno.com
Last edited by Nakato_The_Sorcerer on Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:37 am; edited 1 time in total
Sun Jun 20, 2004 9:11 pm
SlimJim
Joined: Nov 09, 2002
Post subject:
I story based on the "cultural deformity" of your life eh? feh. Peopel are always complaining about how "bad" their lives are these days. do you have a house? yes? you're very, very lucky.
And you'er writing a action AND a romance wow how's that gonna turn out when it's about YOU'RE LIFE!
That aside welcome to Toonami Infolink, the source of elitist bastards since 2001. _________________ *Floats by on a cloud*
Sun Jun 20, 2004 9:38 pm
Alshoff
Joined: Jan 26, 2003
Post subject:
Is this a "heaving bosom" type romance, or the boring kind? _________________ Able and Baker is nice.
Sun Jun 20, 2004 10:04 pm
ToonamiL
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
SlimJim wrote:
That aside welcome to Toonami Infolink, the source of elitist bastards since 2001.
Wait, I thought we started in 2000.
Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:22 am
Nakato_The_Sorcerer
Joined: Jun 20, 2004
Post subject:
Well, Alshoff I'm tryting to keep if from being boring. Maybe I'll get drunk and then write some more...... _________________ If all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, what does all play and no work do for Jack?
Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:43 am
SlimJim
Joined: Nov 09, 2002
Post subject:
ToonamiL wrote:
SlimJim wrote:
That aside welcome to Toonami Infolink, the source of elitist bastards since 2001.
Wait, I thought we started in 2000.
No, that was TA, infolink was 2001 i believe _________________ *Floats by on a cloud*
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