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  Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Martin's Bar
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Martin's Bar
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Dreadnot

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
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*THWAK*

Dread: WTF? who just hit me with this rock? and why is there a boulder in front of the basement? ... did someone reserect a mummy or something?

JJC: Let me out of heeeeeeeeere /whimpers

Dill: Did you hear something? . . . Naw must be the wind.

JJC: Pleeeeeeeeease let me out! There are rats down here and they are looking at me funny.. and I don't mean ha-ha funny either!

Dread: It's ok JJ, once I locate my dynamite I'll blast the door right open for ya~ *runs off to find his stash of explosives*
_________________
FFXI: Heavens Redmage. Level 75

'Oh,' he said.
YES, said Death.
'Not even time to finish my cake?'
NO. THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.
T. Pratchett - Night Watch*
PostFri Nov 17, 2006 7:30 pm
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JJc14

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"There, the amps should be working now..."

::looks back to see the door still blocked off::

"Well, it is nice and quiet down here. Might as well doze off for a bit..."

::falls asleep::
_________________
"Life's a journey, not a destination..." -Aerosmith ('Amazing')
Current RPG(s): (None)
PostMon Nov 20, 2006 1:50 pm
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dillpops

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Mah, mah - too much kanji vocab to memorise *brings out a sword*

Might as well make it useful!

*begins carving it into the wall zorro style!*
_________________
rednekbob9: 1: You're Female
rednekbob9: 2: You're Internet-able
rednekbob9: 3: You like anime
rednekbob9: you're automatically a perfect match
rednekbob9: run like hell
PostWed Nov 22, 2006 1:34 am
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Beefy

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*Nanites start repairing the wall.*

dillpops: "D'oh. I forgot about those little buggers."
_________________
"Robots don't say 'ye'."
"I'll show ye!"
PostWed Nov 22, 2006 10:13 am
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Dreadnot

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/Stares at Dill.

Dread: A sword? why a sword? *rummages through his backpack for semtex* Ok JJc, I'm going to blast this door down to set you free. Are you ready?

"zzzZZzzzZZzzz"

Dread: I'll take that as a 'yes' hmmm.. the instructions seem to be a little worn.. can't really make out how much to use for a door.. 5.. something.. Ahhh, must be 5 bricks! *stacks 5 bricks of Semtex against the door* Okay JJ, Here we go. Cover your ears!

*click*
_________________
FFXI: Heavens Redmage. Level 75

'Oh,' he said.
YES, said Death.
'Not even time to finish my cake?'
NO. THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.
T. Pratchett - Night Watch*
PostWed Nov 22, 2006 2:22 pm
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dillpops

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*nothing happens*
_________________
rednekbob9: 1: You're Female
rednekbob9: 2: You're Internet-able
rednekbob9: 3: You like anime
rednekbob9: you're automatically a perfect match
rednekbob9: run like hell
PostSun Nov 26, 2006 2:22 am
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Force-Attuned_Krogoth

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Oh sorry, Dread. I borrowed your caps.

*casually tosses one over his shoulder*
_________________
Krogoth uses Berserk.
Attacks are enhanced but defense weakens.
"Wait, that's not the cure button ... "
PostSun Nov 26, 2006 1:53 pm
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dillpops

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*explosion*

Phew. Thought I'd gone that time. *scrubs a pot* where's martin to do the drudge work when you need him?
_________________
rednekbob9: 1: You're Female
rednekbob9: 2: You're Internet-able
rednekbob9: 3: You like anime
rednekbob9: you're automatically a perfect match
rednekbob9: run like hell
PostMon Dec 04, 2006 1:02 am
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JohnnyPsycho

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*the cob-webby, run-down interior of the bar is silent. Then, suddenly, the air is filled with the crackling of electricity and a gale of wind blows random debris swirling into the air. A small pin-prick of floating, glowing light appears in the middle of the bar and quickly grows into a large sphere of pulsating energy as electric sparks continue to jolt between metal chair legs and light fixtures nearby. The sphere stops growing, touching ground, and transforms itself momentarily into a mirrored, metallic sphere before dissolving into the dusty atmosphere. Underneath the qucksilver shell stand two figures, silent and motionless, smoke rising from their clothes as they bear witness to their surroundings. The electricity dissipates in the air and the metalic sphere disappears, leaving only a shallow, smoking bowl-shaped crater in the floorboards as evidence of the event. The taller figure pulls a pair of goggles off from his face and smiles widely*

JohnnyPsycho: Ha-HA! I've finally done it! Behold, gentle patrons of Martin's Bar! Your wishes have been answered! The new clone-droid is finally up an running! Behold this newest abomonation unto God: the new Clone-Droid!!

Masked Clone-Droid: *Dressed like a ninja Flash Gordon, he poses like a Power Ranger and waits for applause* Ho!

JohnnyPsycho: Ta-daaaa!... *waits for applause, then when hearing none, finally looks around* Holy crap!! Where is everybody? Hello?

Clone-Droid: *still posing* Ha! Yeow! Hi-Keeba!

JohnnyPsycho: *patting the masked clone on the shoulder* Um, you can stop that now... no one's here...

Clone-Droid: I know, sir, I just like doing this...

JohnnyPsycho: *looking around* Jeezus, what a dump! Why did they let this place get so bad? Hellooooo, anybody here? Jeez, I wasn't gone that long, was I? *checks his watch, then turns a shade of green* OH CRAP! 3 years?!? Gah! I guess I got carried away with developing your positronic cyberbrain, buddy!

Clone-Droid: I appreciate the care you put into creating me, sir.

JohnnyPsycho: *slapping his forehead in disbelief* Oh man, I can't believe it's been 3 years... Crap, KeroMia is going to be soooo pissed off... Or was it Ludwika? Damn, I don't remember my wife's name any more! I'm a dead man...

Clone-Droid: I'm detecting faint life signs toward the back of the building, sir.

JohnnyPsycho: Where? I don't see anything... Just some cobwebs, a lot of dust, and a big boulder where the basement door should be... Oh well. I suppose I'll have to reveal my greatest creation to everyone when they get back...

Clone-Droid: Are you sure they won't be mad that it took you 3 years to make me?

JohnnyPsycho: I'm sure everyone will love you once they see you... You'll see... Won't they be surprised once they see your face!

Clone-Droid: Well, while we're waiting, can't I take the mask off? It's kind of itchy...

JohnnyPsycho: No! What if someone shows up unexpectedly? It'll ruin the surprise! Besides, it looks good on you.

Clone-Droid: So... uh... we just sit and wait?

JohnnyPsycho: No, I sit and wait. You do what you were programmed to do and get to work. Start by cleaning this place up!

Clone-Droid: *saluting* Yes sir! Um, should I start by moving tha boulder, sir?

JohnnyPsycho: Naaah, leave it. It kind of gives the place character...
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostThu Mar 29, 2007 9:21 am
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JJc14

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::leans against the basement door, half-asleep::

"So...hungry...Four...months...of...isolati-"

::slumps to the ground and falls asleep::
_________________
"Life's a journey, not a destination..." -Aerosmith ('Amazing')
Current RPG(s): (None)
PostThu Mar 29, 2007 10:01 am
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JohnnyPsycho

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Masked Clone-Droid: *stops in the middle of sweeping the floor* I'm sorry, sir, did you just say something?

JohnnyPsycho: No, I didn't say anything... Maybe I should recalibrate your audio receptors when you finish cleaning the bar...

JJc14: *groaning from the basement door behind the boulder* ...

JohnnyPsycho: HOLY CRAP! I heard it that time, too!

Clone-Droid: It's coming from behind that boulder, sir. According to the schematics of the bar that you installed into my memory, there's a door leading to the basement behind it. I hypothesis that someone is trapped inside the basement.

JohnnyPsycho: But why would Dread put such a large boulder in front of that door, unless... EGADS! We must have had an infestation of zombies! There must be a whole horde of vile undead beneath us right now!

Clone-Droid: Sir, I am currently detecting very faint life-signs. There only seems to be one person there... although their life-signs are very weak.

JohnnyPsycho: *punching his fist into his hand* Of course! There must be thousands of undead down there! Most zombies have such minute lifesigns that they barely register on most sensors, but with enough of them... They are simply tricking your sensors into thinking there's only one person behind that door! Do not be fooled, old chum!

Clone-Droid: Sir, shall I remove the boulder and deal with the undead?

JohnnyPsycho: Yes, I think so. I've programmed you with all the basic information you'll need to battle just about any imaginable foe, and you've been trained hard for these past three years for just such a situation. Time to prove that I haven't wasted the last three years... Go forth, my minion!

Clone-Droid: *saluting* Sir! *walks up to the boulder, turns, and delivers a powerful spinning axe-kick to it, cleaving it easily in half, then pulls open the door*

JJc14: *falls out onto the floor, moaning in extreme hunger* Must... feed...

Clone-Droid: Die, foul abomination! *raises fist and readies a strike ot JJc14's head*

JohnnyPsycho: *recognizing JJc14* WAIT!! That's JJc! He's no threat! Stand down, soldier! Stand down!

Clone-Droid: Yes sir. *looking down at the heap of half-wasted humanity on the ground* I believe he is merely suffering from extreme starvation, sir. Shall I end his misery? *raises fist and readies a strike to JJc14's head*

JohnnyPsycho: Whoa! No, no, there's no need for that! Just go get him something to eat... start him with some broth and then work up to solid foods slowly.

Clone-Droid: *saluting* Yes sir, right away, sir!
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostFri Mar 30, 2007 1:12 am
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JJc14

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::regains the strength to open his eyes::

"Ouch! Natural sunlight after all this time! It BURNS!"

Clone-Droid: Detecting behavior synonymous with vampirism. Shall I take proper precautions?

JP: Calm down! There's plenty of actual work to be done!

Clone-Droid: Sir!

::JP turns back to JJc::

JP: So what happened?

"I think it was a prank. Tell these guys NOT to do something and obviously they go a bit overboard..."

JP: Uh, what guys?

"Dread, dill, FAK, Gree-"

::pauses and looks around the dilapidated and abandoned bar::

"Wait, what happened here?"
_________________
"Life's a journey, not a destination..." -Aerosmith ('Amazing')
Current RPG(s): (None)
PostFri Mar 30, 2007 10:37 am
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JohnnyPsycho

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JohnnyPsycho: Well, apparently this place got abandoned, and unfortunately you were abandoned with it...

Masked Clone-Droid: *from the front of the bar* Sir, I think you'll want to see this...

JohnnyPsycho: *muttering to himself as he walks to the clone-droid* What now? When it rains, it pours... what the--?

*The large, bowl-shaped indentation left in the floor-boards pulsates with a greenish electrical energy*

JJc14: *limping up behind JP* What is that?

JohnnyPsycho: That's where we teleported in, but this can't be right... *pulls on his goggles, presses some buttons on his wrist-mounted Navi, and scans the area* ...the damn Nanites are on the fritz! Who's been messing with my nanites?

Clone-Droid: *examining the control panel to the nanite self-repair system* It would seem some amateur was trying to recalibrate the system, but failed...

JJc14: ...Is that bad?

JohnnyPsycho: Well, they would have been working fine at first, but apparently someone screwed up their self-replication processes. These tiny little buggers don't live forever... There's hardly any of them left, just this little "puddle" of them to maintain this entire bar. They're simply overworked...

JJc14: Buuuuut, you can fix it, right?

JohnnyPsycho: Yeah, but it's going to be a pain the in ass. It's not like I can just give the little buggers a dose of nanobot-viagra and some KY and say "Be fruitful and multiply!"

JJc14: That's... probably the most disturbing thing I've heard all year...

JohnnyPsycho: Well, time to get to work... I've got millions of microscopic "tune-ups" ahead of me...
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostFri Mar 30, 2007 11:28 am
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Dreadnot

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JP: Hmm, these nanites don't look like the original ones I programed into this bar. They seem to have adapted some DNA to them..

JJc: Is that why they are in that puddle of green ooze? ... It's the Secret of the Ooze!

JP: Ninja Turtles? That would be awesome! I'll get to programing the new cloning process for them straight away.

Clone-Droid: Wait, Sir. My scanners are picking up a recognizable DNA from these nanites.

JP: huh? what are you rambling on about now? Let me see that scanner. I'll be dammed.

JJc: Oro?

JP: It appears that.. Dread's DNA has been absorbed into the nanites. I guess that would explain why some are still alive, feeding off what life energy he had. But that doesn't explain why it's in green ooze.

JJc: maybe he had green blood?

JP: That's popostrus! ... Well yeah I guess I can see that being true.

Clone-Droid: Shall I ready the cloning device, Sir?

JP: Yeah, lets get Dread back on his feet.

Clone-Droid: /salutes


- - - - - - - - - - - - 5 hours later - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dread: Ugh... nnnnghwa ... oorgle... what the hell.. happened... to me?

Clone-Droid: Cloning complete, Sir.

JJc: Dread! You're alive!

JP: Well it looks like the cloning process was succecful. So Dread, what happened here?

Dread: huh? wah? ... who is this masked guy that dresses like flash gordon?

Clone-Droid: Greetings Sir, I am *Power Rangers pose* The one, The only, THE GREAT---

Dread: yeah yeah.. hey 'Great papillion' or whatever your name is. Can you get me some aspirin?

Clone-Droid: At once, Sir.

JP: *stares blankly* Anyway.. so uh. What happened here?

Dread: Hell if I know. Last thing I remember is hitting a detonator to get rid of that boulder to free JJc.

JJc: Hey guys, while I was looking for my guitar I found the security camera control panel. I uh.. found out what happened to Dread.

JP: Oh? Let me see that.

JJc: It's um.. not pretty..

JP: Put it on the bigscreen then.

JJc: Ok.. *Activates 10 Foot Plasma Bigscreen TV*

---- Timeline 4 months ago ----

Dread: Don't worry JJc I'll get you out of there. Let me get some Semtex and I'll blow this boulder away.

*runs off to get semtex*

JJc: zzzzZZzzzzzZZZZzzzz

Dread: Ok, everything is in place, ready to blow this boulder to high hell!
3 - 2 - 1 - ........ click

click

click

click

Dread: What the hell? Did I wire this wrong? *walks up to the semtex* no.. it seems everything is in order.... I wonder why it won't blow


KABOOM

KERSPLAT


*Everyone stares at the TV*

Dread: Holy shit that must have hurt.....

JJc + JP: wow.... ouch.. damn.. .......

Clone-Droid: *poses*
_________________
FFXI: Heavens Redmage. Level 75

'Oh,' he said.
YES, said Death.
'Not even time to finish my cake?'
NO. THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.
T. Pratchett - Night Watch*
PostFri Mar 30, 2007 1:20 pm
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JohnnyPsycho

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JP: Well, I guess we're done with the cloning for today... *pulls a Pokéball from his pocket* Clone-O-Matic, return! *the portable emergency cloning laboratory is engulfed in red light, then disappears into the Pokéball* You deserve a good rest!

Dread: Well, now that that's all over, I think I should probably get home. I think I left my TV on for 4 months... my electricity bill must be absolutely astronomical!

JP: Not so fast, Dread. I'm afraid you can't leave the bar...

Dread: What? Why not?

JP: Well, you see, when I cloned you from the Nanite puddle, your DNA had become partially fused with the Nanite proteins. It was near impossible to seperate your genetic material from them... as it was, there were some gaps in your DNA that made it impossible to completely reclone all of you in one piece...

Dread: Oh Lordy, don't tell me you put Frog DNA in me, like in Jurassic Park!

JP: No, not quite. You see, I didn't realize it at first, but the Nanite puddle was actually the Nanites attempting to "repair" your body. By combining their microscopic bodies with the traces of your DNA, they became a symbiotic part of who you now are.

JJc14: Wait, you're telling us Dread's part nanobot?

JP: Every cell in your body contains several nanobots. They're swimming in your circulatory system and bridging your neural pathways as we speak.

JJc14: Neat!

Dread: *hyperventilating* W-w-w-w-whhhhhat?

JP: Settle down, it's not as bad as it sounds...

Dread: *grabbing JP by the collar and screaming* HOW CAN IT POSSIBLY BE ANY WORSE?!?

JP: Look, I wasn't sure that I was going to even be able to clone you at first, but the Nanites actually aided the process. It would have taken me months to sort through all the code, not to mention scan for any trace memories you had before your untimely demise. Apparently, the Nanites took care of that too... they must have realized just before you died what was about to happen and had infiltrated your nervous system, fast "downloading" everything before you went "kaboom"!

JJc: Jeez, you think they would have tried to stop the explosion first...

JP: It's interesting that they showed such interest in you. They must have recognized you as a friend and tried what they could to preserve and repair you, but they did not have to ability to restore living matter.

Dread: *calming down* Okay, so there are billions of tiny robots living inside me... Is there any way you can, you know, take them out?

JP: I'm afraid not. Right now, they're pretty much keeping your body's cells from completely collapsing into a goo of proteins and water. But, on the plus side, you're pretty much immortal at this point...

Dread: I don't care about that, I just want the damn things... *pauses* ...did you just say I'm immortal?

JP: Yep! Now that they've gone through the cloning process with you, they can repair any damage inflicted upon you immediately.

JJc14: That's convenient! You're like Wolverine now!

Dread: Yes! Finally, my life's ambitions have been fulfilled! I'm INVIN-CEE-BOL! Mwahahahahahaha!

JP: Not only that, but you can also control the Nanites with your mind...

Dread: What? Seriously! Oh GAWD, this just gets better and better! Now no fool will dare mess with me! Not when I can infect them with my Nanite brethren and devour them from the inside! Ke ke ke ke...

JJc14: *slowly backing away from Dread* I don't think I like the new Dread.... he's a bit scary....

Dread: Soon, the streets will flow with the blood of my enemies... Every corner of the world will fear my might!

JP: *smiling, unfazed by the megalomancy* Yeah, that's great... except of course you can't leave the building...

Dread: All shall bow down before the mighty Drea-- WAIT, WHAT?!?

JP: I already told you, you can't leave the bar.

Dread: W...w-why not?

JP: *sighs* Unfortunately, I installed a failsafe in the Nanites to keep them from running amok in the outside world. They can't function outside of this building. In fact, the second they leave the building, they dissolve and evaporate, and since every cell in your body is partially made up of nanobots...

Dread: ...oh crap...

JP: ...you'd pretty much turn back into a big puddle of green goo...

Clone-Droid: *nudges Dread* Bet you didn't see that one coming, eh, meat-bag?

JJc14: Ouch...

Dread: *severly depressed* I think I'm gonna go cry now...

JP: *to the clone-droid* Hey you! Back to work! No taunting the boss!
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostFri Mar 30, 2007 3:22 pm
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