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Martin, what is wrong with a cyborg waitress? Especially one that is more like 97% Machine and the living tissues are kept alive through a processing of materials into sustinance. It is like a life support sytem for mamary glands and sex organs, and that is all. The outer layer is moldable by the Form to Function protocol, which is not a program but the name of the moldable external layer.
Hmm, you know what I just realized, I was recruited as the keyboardist for the band a little ways back. So, logically, when a customer requests that the band plays, my programming decides it is time to play keyboard. Therefore:
Kalma-Chan: *Looking very cute with her black demon wings and horns protruding from her blood red hair.* What kind of song shall we play, sir?
DM: I dont know, you pick something.
Kalma-Chan: I dont know what songs are popular. When you request a song, Kalma-Chan accesses a Midi of it from her vast library to find the notes. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Fri Mar 12, 2004 3:29 pm
Nobuyuki
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
*sticks head out of office*
Kalma! Off the stage!
Kalma: But my programming...
Allow me to recall an important bit of your programming:
JP wrote:
Your cybernetic programming is completely under control of both of mine and Kero's Multi-versal controls, so there is no way you can do anything in here but act as waitress to the patrons of this bar.
No "customer" mode, no "band member" mode, no other operating mode except "waitress" until you're released, which I see Johnny's just extended. Another thing to remember- there's a difference between "eligible for parole" and "released on parole". Bear that in mind.
By the way, hello Martin! I doubt you know of me, but I had to step in while both you and Dreadnot were absent. If you want to take over administrative duties full-time, just say so. As you can see though, it's quite a handful. _________________ "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
Fri Mar 12, 2004 4:21 pm
Irkan_Warrior
Joined: Jul 10, 2003
Post subject:
The_Dragon_Master wrote:
We need some music in here. Come on, start up a song guys!
Plays "In The End" _________________ The only truth that realy exists is the truth within the mind of the individual and the way the individual sees the world...
Fri Mar 12, 2004 5:42 pm
FinalDivineDragoon
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
The_Dragon_Master wrote:
FinalDivineDragoon wrote:
EDIT: I also helped out with the creation of said arcade.
No you didn't. It was just me and Slim. *sips beer hat* We need some music in here. Come on, start up a song guys!
Well then in that case I make sure it doesn't explode...or at the very least make Slim repair it for me. _________________ There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
Fri Mar 12, 2004 6:10 pm
KeroMia
Joined: Jan 18, 2004
Post subject:
JohnnyPsycho wrote:
Oh, we still have prize fights... they just happen to be in the form of bikini pudding wrestling (which Dillpops, KeroMia, and Kero's pal Deelite were unfortunate enough to be "drafted" into unwittingly, but much to the delight of all the male patrons)...
Thinking of that moment makes me want a rematch all over again, but dill isn't here, and dee's off being a real mommy.So sadly I'm the only lassie around here for now, besides having that cybernetic poopy guy copy of myself... cibernético pelado! _________________ Tan simple y tan sencillo como eso, el mundo apesta! -inguesu
Sat Mar 13, 2004 2:09 am
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Not really a copy anymore, if you have been reading.
Since no one has posted since this, I think it is safe to edit it to present my newest plot twist to escape the evil control. This will be hilarious.
*The door opens, a man with his face downwards stumbles in. He is bleeding from a wound in his head. His clothes are shambles and you can't see his face.*
Kalma-Chan: Hello sir, welcome to Martin's Bar, how may I serve you.
*The man looks up slightly. Then puts his face down again, as if it is a strain to hold it up.*
???: Who are you? New help? How long have I been gone?
Nobu: Well, that would be Kalma, (s)he is being punished.
*Man Smiles. Snickers (Chuckles).*
???: Really?
Kalma-Chan: Yes, made a pact with the devil to be able to do something. But, this was what happened. I guess I didnt know what I had become.
???: You got that right.
DM: What doe he mean by that?
???: Well, friends. Hmm, no not really friends, more like... Aquantinces.
Nobu: Who are you?
*He finally lifts his head enough for everyone to see and they gasp in confusion.*
???: Isn't it obvious.
Kalma-Chan: But, you look... just like I did... when I was... human.
Kalma: Yes, I was never turned into a cyborg. That stupid doctor decided to make a robot replicant instead. He downloaded my memory into it and probably didnt tell it so he could see if it functioned like I would. I am not sure.
Kalma-Chan: But... What...
Kalma: Yes, I know. I was afraid that would happen. I just didn't realize how cute my replicant would turn out.
SlimJim: Whats with the bleeding and that scar.
Kalma: The bleeding is from the wrench to the head. The scar is where he took some tissue to create the skin culture growing on this andriod.
*Kalma looks to his side. He spots Amlak the coatrack.*
Kalma: What happened to him?
Kalma-Chan: He was the only inanimate object strong enough to hold Dragon Masters coat.
*Kalma drops onto his knees.*
Kalma: Oh yeah. I came here to see if I could get my head bandaged.
Kalma-Chan: Comming right up sir.
Kalma: Huh? How could she get hired here?
JP: She is not hired. She had some reprogramming. She is a waitress until further notice.
Kalma: God what did she do?
SlimJim: Ahem, I guess I should point out they.
*Slim Jim uses his power to seperate and then refuse the Kalma-Chans.*
Kalma: Uh. Where did the second come from?
SlimJim:I bet her she couldn't get me a scotch in less than two seconds. She went too fast and we ended up with two, somehow. I fused them because it was my fault.
*Kalma-Chan comes back with the bandages. She fixes Kalma up.*
Kalma: Thanks, uh, what am I supposed to call a replicant with all of my memories. Amlak is already taken by the fucking coat-rack.
*KeroMia walks into the bar behind him.*
KeroMia: Well, they were calling it Kero 003 and Kero-Kalma and other junk. But it dont look like me anymore.
Kalma: Correct. Now that doctor mentioned something about how it could change its image by rearanging its tissue layer.
*Kalma pulls out his wallet and shows a picture to Kalma-Chan.*
Kalma: Change, now.
*Kalma-Chan begins to change into a teenage girl with short black hair. She is not all that attractive, but very cute in a little girl kind of way.*
Nobu: Huh?
Kalma: Well, now. It appears that the doc was right. No matter what happens to it, burned into a permanent data patch, the andriod has to follow the orders of the one it was made from, even after genetic restructring, my code is imprinted into the disc.
KeroMia: But, whay did you make her look like that? I hope your not some sick pervert.
Kalma: That is debateable. This was to get her taken off the workforce.
Nobu: What?
JP: But you cant do that.
Kalma: Now really, do you think that a social worker will belive shes not a 14 year old girl being employed illegally?
Nobu: Fuck!
Kalma-Chan: Ow, my little ears. Was that the correct response?
Kalma: Yes, Katie.
DM: But, her name is Kalma-Chan.
Kalma: No, now she looks like this girl I knew way back when. I had a crush on her. Hehe, I guess it is suspicios that I still have her pic. I guess I just never cleaned out this wallet. Let me see, wow, I had missile codes? Man.
And, I guess Martin will be glad I got rid of the Robo-Waitress. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Sat Mar 13, 2004 9:47 am
John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo
Joined: Nov 13, 2002
Post subject:
Last time on fight posts by John Bono Smithy Satchmo...
Bono wrote:
"NNNNOOOOOOO!!!! Big Furry Monster! Why did you have to die!? Why!?"
[quote="CP"]"Drop the facade, Bono--it's quite obvious that you're the clear winner of this battle."
Quote:
[quote="Bono"]"I don't know about you, Shiek, but I get the distinct place that this bar has the scent of pine scented cleaner lying about"
Bono wrote:
"And what the hell ever happened to Martin? That guy hasn't been around for like a year. You know, I really miss that guy, I specifically remember this one time where he gave me the most profound piece of advice..."
Shiek wrote:
I see more sweat on your skin than I've seen in Hyrule Lake.
Grape Nuts Robot wrote:
"Now spell: please--you can't die on me now. No-o-o-o-o-o.
And now, the conclusion...
"Ah, that was a good round of DDR," John Bono said, rather content with himself. "I suppose I should take a shower, then, hmm?"
"You smell as if a bioweapons lab is hard at work to develop a stench so biblical that the Triforce itself couldn't grant the wish of removing such a blight upon humanity."
"I'll take that as a yes, then."
"Aren't you at all tired?"
"Oh, I'm completely exhausted," Bono replied, collapsing on the floor.
-------------------------------
Several months later...
"Wow, Shiek, those were some amazing adventures we've been through over the past undisclosed period of time. Much fun and excitement deffinately occured over that period of time. But alas, although we've grown closer, and forged an unbreakable friendship, we have yet to find our new party members."
"What? Were we in the same place since January? You played Sakura Heavy, Healing Vision Angelic Mix, and Max 300 on the same play. How exactly you did this on a 5th Mix machine is still far beyond me. Never the less, you fell into a coma from the severe exhaustion and resulting brain hemorrhages, and just got out of it yesterday morning. Don't you remember any of this?"
"I see... Then it must of all been a dream..."
"That's exactly what it was, you dink! Why are we back at the bar, anyway?"
"Well, you see--we have some recruiting to do."
"Why does 'recruiting' sound more like whining and begging."
"Probably because that's what we're going to be doing."
Shiek merely sighed in resignation, pushing open the well worn door of Martin's bar. Bono followed, his eyes widening to fit the sight before him.
"Martin!" he closed the distance between the door and the bar faster than anyone could tell what was happening. "Where have you been!?" He screamed as he leapt over the bar to tackle his wisened friend. "I've been looking high and low for over a year now. I thought we'd lost you forever," he latched his arms around Martin in an embrace. "Now you're never leaving. Again. Ever!"
Martin finished a groan of pain from being knocked over, then sighed. "Why can't I get this kind of treatment from the ladies?" Martin picked himself up, unattatching Bono from himself with considerable effort. "What brings you back to the bar, old friend?"
"Well, you see--there's this fight tournament thread over in the Semi-anime related babble forum, and it takes partners--but two of my partners died in the last fight, and well, there's only one person I could think of that could join--so I came here first."
"YOu don't mean... him? No! Absolutely not! He's a valued member of this establishment--we couldn't function without him."
"I'll take care of everything," Bono assured. Shiek, let us venture to... the men's room."
"Dun dun dunnnnnnn!" called a voice from behind.
"Shut up, Kalma!"
Last edited by John_Bono_Smithy_Satchmo on Sun Mar 14, 2004 12:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
Sun Mar 14, 2004 12:30 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
I really dont get this. Can you plaes just say it in a few senteces? All I got out of it was, "You were only dreaming." I dont understand. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Sun Mar 14, 2004 12:34 pm
SlimJim
Joined: Nov 09, 2002
Post subject:
Kalma...Do you really think the bonds in the matter are stable? not in the least. I can end this double right here,by destroying every bond. And don't think you can just change to erase the bonds, doing so would pop both Kalma-Chans back out, althought horribly misfigured and malfunctioning. _________________ *Floats by on a cloud*
Sun Mar 14, 2004 1:50 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Jim, what the fuck are you talking about? I didnt try to erase anything. I just needed to give the android a new look for a new namesake. That is all. Didnt you see that I, the real Kalma am back from the run in with a cheap ass cybernetics doctor. He just made a copy. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Sun Mar 14, 2004 1:54 pm
SlimJim
Joined: Nov 09, 2002
Post subject:
yes, but now you are changing the plot into your own favor, having the copy under your control. Realize that you have mimum control, while me n JP have priority. Methinks that I should point out why you can't get my control out of the way before you say otherwise. _________________ *Floats by on a cloud*
Sun Mar 14, 2004 4:39 pm
dougisfunny
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Post subject:
Doug: Hmm well you know... I somehow find annoying little plot twists annoying.
JP: Exactly what I was thinking. Do you want the honors Doug, or should we give them to Martin?
Doug: Well, we shouldn't just let martin deal with a mess just because he is here now, and besides... I want to do this.
*cast Lit-3, followed by Blackhole*
watches as "Katie" is burned to a crisp and the whole of her existance it torn apart and sucked into the black hole.
JP: Huh... that worked
Doug: But wait, there is more...
*cast on the other Kalma thing Petrify then Blackhole*
Doug: you know... I'm a big fan of Black hole... cleans up after itself so nicely...
Kalma: but... social services... they .. what did you do?
Doug: Well as it turn out... I have this cool thing call magic... and so It kinda works out... when I want to get rid of extra characters that do more harm than good... they're gone.
JJc14: (shouting from a corner) Cuz Stone Cold Said So! What? I like wrestling...
Kalma: well I guess its just me left now, with no accelerations powers... just the power of my knowledge of the law.
Doug: Laws? _________________ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Last edited by dougisfunny on Sun Mar 14, 2004 7:12 pm; edited 1 time in total
Sun Mar 14, 2004 4:56 pm
JJc14
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
doug: did you just quote stone cold steve austin?
"yea..."
doug: but you hate stone cold...
"yea..."
doug: so what's up with that?
"if you were hugged by a woman and found out that 'she' was really a he, your mental processes would probably be a bit off too..."
::gets up and heads toward the basement::
"i think i'm gonna try and sleep this off..."
doug: pleasant dreams...
(sarcastically) "ha, ha..." _________________ "Life's a journey, not a destination..." -Aerosmith ('Amazing')
Current RPG(s): (None)
Sun Mar 14, 2004 6:37 pm
Irkan_Warrior
Joined: Jul 10, 2003
Post subject:
Okay, this bar is getting very weird, I'm headin back to the other one. _________________ The only truth that realy exists is the truth within the mind of the individual and the way the individual sees the world...
Sun Mar 14, 2004 7:26 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Kalma: Well, you see, I didnt care for Katie that much. And Amlak was a coatrack, I hope you know that by burning him up you just ruined DM's Coat and all his guns. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
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