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Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Martin's Bar
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Would it be ok to answer N/A to all questions? _________________ There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
Sun Aug 15, 2004 5:57 pm
Nobuyuki
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject: Vain attempt at thread repair...
FinalDivineDragoon wrote:
Would it be ok to answer N/A to all questions?
I suppose you could, but that begs the question, "why did you bother pick up an application in the first place?" _________________ "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
Sun Aug 15, 2004 6:01 pm
FinalDivineDragoon
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
Who said you had to pick it up in order to fill it out? _________________ There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
Sun Aug 15, 2004 6:02 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
Oh yeah, that reminds me...
*hits a button on his watch, causing a trapdoor to open in the floor of the stage, and a cartoonishly large laser sentry-gun rises from the floor, pointing at FDD*
...this is a mandatory application process...
*laser sentry-cannon warms up and begins to glow*
please fill out every part of the application in its entirity, or else I'll be forced to judge your genetic fortitude from your smoking remains...
Thank you, and good luck in your future endevours...
mwahahahahahahahahahahaha.... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Sun Aug 15, 2004 7:49 pm
FinalDivineDragoon
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
Can I answer every question on the application verbally? Technically that would be considered filling the application out to its entirity....that and no one can understand my handwriting.... _________________ There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
Sun Aug 15, 2004 10:59 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
whatever... just make sure you answer every question...
Oh, and for the swimwear competition, I want you to wear this diving helmet and these lead boots... er, you're in charge of finding your own swimsuit...
any contestant found entering the swimwear contest in the buck will be vaporized immediately...
uh, but you at least have to wear a tie for the evening wear... uh, and clean underwear... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Sun Aug 15, 2004 11:58 pm
Nobuyuki
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
Question: Can the clean underwear double as the swimsuit? _________________ "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
Mon Aug 16, 2004 12:02 am
FinalDivineDragoon
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
Can we use the tie from said evening wear portion for said swimwear contest? _________________ There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
Mon Aug 16, 2004 1:24 am
Green-Bird
Joined: Apr 14, 2003
Post subject:
Name: Green-Bird
Age: 184 years
D.O.B.: 9/24/1820
Blood Type: [O]
Ethnicity: (choose all that apply) [White/Caucasian] [Asian/Pacific Islander] [Cyborg American]
Species: Human/Immortal
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother's Maiden Name: Johns
Father's Maiden Name: Bird
Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Ilisa
Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Lennon
Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name: Chambers
Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: Smith
Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: Marley
Your Maiden Name (if applicable): Bird
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Known Inheritable Family Health Risks: I don't have any.
Known Inheritable Family Superpowers:None.
Other Known Inheritable Traits: Sometimes my split personality, Batman will come out and fight crime. It's fucking weird.
Non-Inherited Superpowers: While as Green-Bird- Flight and near anything, dammit. Whlie as Batman- None
Do you have experience using or can you operate or perform the following tasks? (answer Yes or No)
Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific):
Jeet Kun Do, and a little bit of Gung-Fu.
Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Japanese, Chinese, Predator
Other useful skills: Uhhh, I can breakdance and I can spit fire!
Other useless skills: Glomping members.
Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): I can play guitar, trumpet, Piano and blues harp. I can also sing. I write somewhat good.
Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): Shirt: XL, Pants: XL, Socks:L, Thong: XL.
Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview): XL
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone number (real or imagined): 555-282-5968
"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name: Thomas Anderson
Phone number: 555-879-8834
Next of Kin: Agent Smith
Previous Employment
Name of Company: Babbage's
Position: Register
Length of Employment: 6-7 months
Reason for leaving: Montary issues(that's a good way to say fired)
Ever Convicted of a Felony?: No
Name of Parole Officer: Unknown
Victim's Next of Kin: Jesus
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There. I'm done. _________________ I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new
Wilco- Ashes of American Flags
Mon Aug 16, 2004 2:56 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
Nobuyuki wrote:
Question: Can the clean underwear double as the swimsuit?
Yes, but you'll have to make sure that the underwear is of thick enough material as to not show off all the "goodies" when wet... If I see someone's junk through their ridiculously thin pair of tighty-whities, I'm immediatly going to vaporize them... end of story...
FinalDivineDragoon wrote:
Can we use the tie from said evening wear portion for said swimwear contest?
Only if said tie is a very wide one that can be fashioned into a suitable thong... again, if I see someone's nuts hanging out, it's laser-cannon time...
Hmmm, so far Green-Bird is in the lead... having someone who can speak Japanese and Predator can come in very useful here... but I am disappointed that he can't use an abacus, history's first computer... So far, you're the most qualified, but it's still too early to make a decision... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Mon Aug 16, 2004 5:03 pm
dougisfunny
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Post subject:
can't you an abacus? pitiful... those are so cool... not somethin i want to use all that often, but they're still damn cool... _________________ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Mon Aug 16, 2004 9:55 pm
JJc14
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject: Re: Job Application... of DOOM!!
[Note: Being the first of kind limits family-related information]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: J[illegible] J. C[illegible]
Age: 14ish (not in years)
D.O.B.: 13/32/00
Blood Type: (choose one) [O] [Blue]
Ethnicity: (choose all that apply) [White/Caucasian] [Cyborg American] (due to metallic additions during arm surgery)
Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: N/A
Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: N/A
Your Maiden Name (if applicable): Unknown
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Known Inheritable Family Health Risks (ie: Heart Disease, Sicle-cell Anemia, Diabetes, Polydactyly, Near-sightedness, certain allergies, Lycanthropy): N/A
Known Inheritable Family Superpowers (ie: inherited superhuman mutations (X-gene syndrome), Lycanthropy): N/A
Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): Yes (with a controller and game)
Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Yes: My handwriting
Other useful skills: 'Wannabe' musician
Other useless skills: 'Wannabe' samurai
Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): Guitar, bass, keyboard, sitar
Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): Shirt (L)/Pants (31)/Shoes (11)
Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview): See above (Evening wear will be reused as swimwear so as to avoid any mental shock fatalities)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone number (real or imagined): 1-888-[illegible]
"In Case of Emergency, please contact..." Name: counterparadox
Phone number: Not known
Next of Kin: Unknown
Previous Employment Name of Company: Martin's Bar
Position: Musician
Length of Employment: Many hours, few days
Reason for leaving: Laziness (is forgetting multiple, consecutive gigs a crime?)
Ever Convicted of a Felony?: No (answer subject to change)
Name of Parole Officer: You can call him Ray, or you can call him Jay...
Victim's Next of Kin: Unknown
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _________________ "Life's a journey, not a destination..." -Aerosmith ('Amazing')
Current RPG(s): (None)
Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:22 am
Beefy
Joined: Nov 13, 2002
Post subject:
*Wanders in followed by a large box.*
Beefy: Delivery for Martin’s Bar.
JohnnyPsycho: What is it?
Beefy: A 63 inch plasma TV.
JohnnyPsycho: What? Let me see the packaging slip.
*Beefy hands the paper to JohnnyPsycho.* It reads:
Ship to: Dreadnot
Address: Martin’s Bar
Bill to: Martin’s Bar
Payment: charged to corporate account
Box size: 66.9"(W) x 42.9"(H) x 21.7"(D)
Weight: 190.7 lbs
Customer comments: PUDDING MATCH, PUDDING MATCH, PUDDING MATCH!
JohnnyPsycho: WHAT?! Dreadnot, have you been charging things to the bar’s account again?
Beefy: So, um, where do you want this box?
JohnnyPsycho: *Notices the box is floating one foot above the floor with no one touching it.*
190 pounds, how do you lift it? Some kind of anti-gravity device? I should build a few of those.
Beefy: No device, just an ability I have.
JohnnyPsycho: *Shoves an application in Beefy’s face.*
Here, fill this out.
Beefy: Huh? Why?
*Laser makes a powering up sound.*
JohnnyPsycho: If you have a problem, then you can take it up with Mr. Laser.
Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): none
Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Martian
Other useful skills: can crush things into cubes
Other useless skills: can build pyramids
Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): can crush things into other geometric shapes
Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): shirt: L, pants: 34x32, shoes: 11
Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview):
I think it would be in everyone's best interest that I not participate in the swimwear portion of the interview.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone number (real or imagined): 04-00-36-41-4891
"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name: Tatiana
Phone number: doesn't use a phone number. Use her IP address instead (IPv6): 21DA:00D3:0000:2F3B:02AA:00FF:FE28:9C5A
Next of Kin: none
Previous Employment
Name of Company: Planet Express
Position: delivery boy
Length of Employment: 4 years
Reason for leaving: got eaten by space wasp
Ever Convicted of a Felony?: crushing boss's car into a cube
Name of Parole Officer: Sausage Mahoney
Victim's Next of Kin: Fry Farnsworth
---------------------------------------------------------------- _________________ "Robots don't say 'ye'."
"I'll show ye!"
Tue Aug 17, 2004 2:32 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
JohnnyPsycho: *reads the last two applications* Okay, boys, good job... and since I understand your reluctance to participate in the swimsuit competition, I have already arranged some special swimsuits for you...
JohnnyPsycho: And yes, if you wear the special swimsuits, you must wear a handlebar mustache...
dougisfunny: JP, is that huge laser cannon really necessary?
JohnnyPsycho: *points laser at doug* Hey!! You haven't filled out your application! You have no room to question my authority here! Get to writing, slacker!
dougisfunny: I'm just saying that it seems a bit unfair to force us all to fill out applications at gun-point...
JohnnyPsycho: Fine! You want fair? I'll fill out the application too. Of course, mine will only be used as a sample application, since (as I explained before) I am exempt from being cloned again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother's Maiden Name: Ampey
Father's Maiden Name: Psychonovich
Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Kezhik
Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Hudson
Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name: Gotti
Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: Goins
Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: Williams
Your Maiden Name (if applicable): Sagataw
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Known Inheritable Family Health Risks: Near-sightedness; Diabetes; Lycanthropy
Known Inheritable Family Superpowers: Lycanthropy; Supergenius
Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): Tae Kwon Do (red belt), Judo (yellow belt), Ninjitsu/Shinobi (Kame Clan under Hamato Yoshi), Kung Fu (Southern Crane Style, Wing Chun)
Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Not really... trying to learn Spanish and Ojibwe
Other useful skills: Insult newer members' intellects; Creation of new story-lines that may or may not result in the destruction of the very fabric of reality; encyclopedic knowledge of unspeakable torture techniques; super-genius mad scientist
Other useless skills: Left thumb is double-jointed; encyclopedic knowledge of unspeakable sexual acts
Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): For the Talent portion of the interview, I will perform a selection from Shakespeare's MacBeth
Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): Shirt: 17 1/2 (collar), 37/38 (sleave); T-shirt: XXL-Tall; Pants: 38x36; Shoes: 14M; Hat: 18 1/4
Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview): X-Large
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone number (real or imagined): 555-HELP
"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name: KeroMia
Phone number: 555-2356 ext. 334
Next of Kin: KeroMia, AlucardPsycho, SophiePsycho
Previous Employment
Name of Company: Deep 13 Laboratories, Inc. (a subsidiary of Gizmonics Instititue International)
Position: Level 13 security clearance is necessary for that information
Length of Employment: 5 years
Reason for leaving: um... I still work there
Ever Convicted of a Felony?: Yes (later acquitted during appeal when all witnesses went missing)
Name of Parole Officer: Buck Mercer
Victim's Next of Kin: Oh, don't worry... you won't be hearing from them either
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Tue Aug 17, 2004 6:54 pm
Nobuyuki
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
JohnnyPsycho wrote:
Of course, mine will only be used as a sample application, since (as I explained before) I am exempt from being cloned again.
*makes a whip motion with his hands* _________________ "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
please fill out every part of the application in its entirity, or else I'll be forced to judge your genetic fortitude from your smoking remains... 
