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  Toonami Infolink :: View topic - little idiots
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JohnnyPsycho

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I'm glad that almost everyone in here realizes the valid points of my post, and that many people also realized that most of it was just me doing exactly what this post was set up for: griping about other people. I just chose to take it a different direction and aim the griping toward the gripers, get it?

Anyway, I also want to point out to FDD a fact that he seemed to have overlooked. He might be a white kid in a predominantly Chicano school, but I am a Native American who grew up in predominantly White schools. I know exactly what you're going through, so don't assume that I don't know what I'm talking about, because usually you'll only end up looking like you do right now... a fool. You don't know hurt and intimidation until you've been called "Red-Nigger" at least a dozen times by illiterate jar-heads and greasy-haired metal-heads every week at your own school.

You don't think I know what it's like to be singled-out? You don't think that I was a nerd too? Hell, I was in the top ten percent of my class all through highschool, I was in the marching band and in the school plays, and all my friends played D&D, Magic the Gathering, and I even had one friend who got heavily into Marilyn Manson and the Goth scene when Manson first got big (mind you, this was about a year before the Columbine incident, and yes, he did get a LOT of shit for the way he acted and dressed). I know exactly what it's like to have someone try to intimidate you and to bully you. I feel confident enough to say that what I said to you in my last post was valid because my experiences and the experiences of my close friends in highschool seemed to be similar enough to your problems in highschool.

But, of course, maybe my personal experiences with bullies haven't been quite as extreme as yours. I've only gotten into a fight once, and that was in the fourth grade. And usually, whenever a jock or jar-head would try to give me shit in highschool, it was usually never physically threatening because even when I was a Freshman I was almost 6 foot tall and heavy... I'm still over 6 foot and heavy, and normally people don't go after us big dudes, so I will admit that my freakish height and my inability to lose my flab worked well in that case. So maybe I don't know what it's like to be a little guy being picked on by a bigger guy, but I do know I had friends who were little guys, and they were picked on by the bigger guys, and I witnessed how they dealt with being picked on. I witnessed one of my friends do exactly what you did. He (the Marilyn Manson fan that I told you about earlier) was being hassled by a jock, and he finally had enough and he swung his fists. Of course, in that instance, his fists actually connected, but that isn't the point. He got suspended also, because he started the fight. Today, he looks back and he realizes that he was in the wrong to have started a fight in school, despite the momentary gratification it had given him at the time.

I didn't mean to target just you in my last post, but you were the one person whose story in this post rang home the most for me. I didn't want to attack you, but I did want to wake you up.

As for the rest of you fuckers, who all can go to hell and die for all I care... oh, and I love you all.. Twisted Evil Razz

This message courtesy of the ever bi-polar personality, JohnnyPsycho
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PostThu Aug 28, 2003 2:22 pm
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Spookmonkey

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It's funny hearing you all bitch about your high school experience(s).

I have one statement about highschool and one statement alone.

Aer you ready for it? Here it comes.

"Eh... It was High School"

All HS was suposed to do was prepare you for college or lack thereof and to suck. You use high school as a comparison for how you believe you (and/or those classmates you could possibly come acrossed in the future) have matured/advanced/changed/ect.

That's all. Yuo can't complain kids today don't have respect because more than likely during the period of life they're going through you didn't either (though that's not neccesarily everyone).

I got nothing to bitch about for during HS. Everything that happened for the most part I deserved. Yes I'm white. Yes I went to school in a predominatly white school system. But you know what? That doesn't matter. High School is High School is High School. All that changes is the degree of Red Neckiness. (by the way, my mother worked down in the most gang riddled area around here as both an elemetary and high school teacher; at both schools I spent alot of time helping her out with stuff and spending time with her students and there ratiowise as many racists int he black and hispanic community as there are in the white.

Ten Bucks says there are a decent population of Native Americans who are just as racists and hate filled.
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PostThu Aug 28, 2003 5:58 pm
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JohnnyPsycho

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Actually, for the most part, I do agree with Spook. I said it myself, everyone in here who's been griping about highschool is still stuck in that "Us vs. Them" mentality and need to grow up. I've been out of highschool for six years, so I've more than outgrown all that drama in highschool.

But as for the whole racism in highschool thing, I was just trying to make a point to FDD that we weren't as different as he felt, and that I had survived a lot of the same stuff that he did...

Also, there are racists in absolutely every culture, the only difference is that the only predominantly Native American highschools exist on the reservations. Obviously, it is extremely rare for any non-Native kid to be surrounded by a bunch of Natives in school. Plus, there's also the fact that reservations are full of Native American kids who are half black, or have blonde hair and blue eyes, etc. The only systematic form of racism that exist in modern Native culture is the stratification we have between "pure-blood", "half-breed", etc. etc.

Fun Fact: It wasn't until the Bureau of Indian Affairs (aka: the BIA) started using the "blood quantum" system in determining who could be registered as members of Native tribes that stratifications between those who were "pure blood" and those of "mixed blood" began in some reservations.

Fun Fact 2: In some wealthy tribes (such as the ones that benefit from casino gambling), "blood quantum" rules have sometimes even been narrowed down to those who are one-quarter or even one-half Native American.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off on that tangent, but when people say stuff like "Native Americans are racist", I have to often point out the fact that we get that way because all of our contact and history with the American government has essentially turned us that way. When your entire population can be lowered because the government says that certain members of your community don't count as "real Indians", it can really mess with you.

But, back to my earlier point about the racist kids I went to school with, it's completely "water under the bridge". I barely think about it, and I didn't allow it to get to me even back then. Sure, it was scary, but growing up is a scary process. I don't judge the kids that called me names and treated me bad because I was different from them. I'm sure that if I were to run into them next time I'm back home, or if I were to see them at some sort of class reunion or something, I wouldn't feel the slightest bit weird about any of that, because I've grown past that point in my life. I tend to focus more on the good times I had during highschool and tend to forget about the bad.

My brother-in-law is white, and my dad loves him. One of my best friends from that same almost totally white highschool lived with my parents for a short time, and he ended up becoming like another member of our family. But the minute my dad drinks a little too much, he starts talking about "beating up the first white man I see". You see, racism is a much tougher situation that you think, and in the case of my father it stems from having to grow up in abject poverty on the reservation, then going to school with kids who would taunt and ridicule him and his brothers and sisters for the color of their skin. Its something he had to grow up in through his whole life, and I myself can't even imagine having to go through that, because I had only gone through a bit of it in highschool. Because of that, my dad, like most of the Indians in his generation, have a lot of unresolved issues with both the obvious discrimination they dealt with when they were growing up and the hidden discrimination and racism inherent in "the system". His generation grew up during the Civil Rights movements. His generation created the American Indian Movement (AIM). And though things are better, some old wounds just never go away.

I guess I just want for everyone in here to get over the bad parts of growing up and try to look forward, because sometimes you don't realize when old scars will resurface. I don't see my dad as a racist, but sometimes he says things that completely surprise the hell out of me. But then again, he grew up in a different time, a much angrier and turbulent time. And I've never known of him to have actually ever beat up anyone, even though he sometimes talks about it.

Just be glad you assholes got it as good as you do...


JP
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PostThu Aug 28, 2003 9:19 pm
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JohnnyPsycho

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Again, I'm sorry I went on that racism tirade, but... *sigh* I guess stuff like that really does still get to me sometimes. Okay, so maybe you can't forget all the bad things that happen to you, but you can attempt to make positive change...

If you feel like it, I'd like for you guys to read this:

Blood Quantum Petition

sorry... i think i'm done in here for a while... i honestly didn't think i'd be getting this worked up but... well, again, sorry...


JP
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PostThu Aug 28, 2003 9:28 pm
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Goldfinger2K

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i really don't know how this became a topic of racism. Razz

peace
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PostThu Aug 28, 2003 11:40 pm
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FinalDivineDragoon

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.....Oh geez. I am so sorry JP, I completly made an ass of myself...as I always do. That's a part of my flawed humanity.....I take everything far to seriously, and i'm quick to anger...that is after I recover from the pain. You see due to all of the bullying and torture I had to endure throughout school this left me scarred practically on every level. One part being my development of severe depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Because of that I spent some time in a mental hospital.

I know how scary life can be when you spend new year's eve 50 miles away from your family in a mental hospital. Of course it didn't help much that the doctor "assigned" to me refused to help me at all cause she was a total ass. You think wrist-slicing is bad....well these guys had sliced their wrists so many time that the scarring prevented it, so what did they do? That's right, they started slicing their ankles. That was a week of my life i'll never forget.

I apologize for what I said JP. I was in the wrong, as I always am. Oh, and don't worry guys I still got more stories of my life that need be told....that is if you want to hear them.
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PostFri Aug 29, 2003 12:25 am
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dougisfunny

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I never had problems like that in high school. I'm a country boy, and in the entire time i was there maybe two or three black people were there, maybe one or two native american and three asian. And I just had a school full of rednecks/hicks, because yes i do live in farm country kinda. Being a nerd wasn't always helpful cuz technology wasn't rampant, but I survived with my consoles. My fiance had more issues just because she wasn't much of a people person and was of the us vs them ideal, if they didn't like her she didn't like them, and plenty of people resented her for being a hard working student at the top of the class. Do i gripe? Nah, I don't care, never did much. Does she... she likes to hold grudges. How she puts up with me... I may never know.
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PostFri Aug 29, 2003 8:53 am
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-Mithron-

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FinalDivineDragoon wrote:
This story i'll leave up to you guys to decide if the school system made the right choice. Anyways, while I was in school I got picked on and beat up...a lot. Well during my freshman year another racist mexican sees me and starts messin with me. I try my best to ignore him, but come on, how hard is it to ignore someone whos shoving desks at you? Well one day he took it to the next level, an as he saw me going into class he blocked the way, I tried to go past him, and he shoves me into the wall. At this point I had had enough of him so in retalliation I threw a punch aiming for his face....it missed and I barely glanced his shoulder. After that he throws me down onto the ground, breaking my glasses, and then proceeds to hit me in the back of the head 15 time. By the end I had a bloody nose and a concussion. The worst part is.....we both got suspended for 2 weeks. Thats right I throw one worthless punch, and he nearly kills me, but we get the same punishment. Now I ask you.....

How fucked up is that?


I know man... I used to get picked on too, but I got tired of it really fast and got into self defense. I got pretty good at it, and well one day right before lunch this guy decides to start messing with me. He tried to grab me but I steped back and just smiled at him. He got pissed and started throwing punches. I blocked the first two and tried to grab his arm on the third, but then a teacher broke us up and the same thing happened.
PostFri Aug 29, 2003 9:20 am
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counterparadox

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Don't appologize FDD. You had no way of knowing. Just as we had no way of knowing about your escapade in the mental hospital. If you could be blamed for something you didn't know, then we are all constantly at fault here. And who the hell want's to feel guilty for something beyond their control? Not me, for one.

For hte moment I have nothing much to say on the matter of racism. I went to pubilc school until 7th grade, where I entered a Catholic school. I see elements of my own mind that are racist. I don't understnad it. My parents have never said racist things, one of my best friends in 6th grade was African. Yet everything I see today, as I said before, the thug look causes fear. I'm frikken afrain of these guys. I'm a weak, scrawny kid that couldn't hold his own in a fight with some 10 year olds. So I'm frikken afraid. "And everything I see, it's as if people are saying "I am different than you."

Now, look at my past. No racist parents. Had good friends that were other races. Yet I'm slightly racist (not to the point that I would speak out or EVER do anything violent about it. EVER.) I see them and think "they are different" and it bothers me. I don't like thinking that way. I hate thinking that way. But I think our society causes us to think that way. And I don't like it.
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PostFri Aug 29, 2003 11:29 am
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DeeLite

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hmm ...one of my experiences when I use to attend a school in the states was pretty bland,the majority students were Hispanic and the whole school staff was Anglo,go figure.But,it was me and this other girl who was from India,and I so remember clearly of her always carrying around those slim goo things...Anyway,being the only two transfer students around the school who were other than Mexican or White, we were basically cast out by the other kids in a way.As in I couldn't really fit in with all the rest of the students, because I would find myself being part of the Mexi-ESL group and be like the moronic confused one with no one to help explain something to me...eh,oh well. Confused
PostSat Aug 30, 2003 12:45 am
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ToonamiL

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What's up with today? Nothing is better. Kids are getting too stupid and don't even know it. It also got to a point where everyone is complaining about working. If you frickin' work than complain, then you'd be finished and not have anything to argue about. I also think they should shut up once in a while. In my Spanish class, many of those kids won't shut up about anything. They go "What?!? More work" or "Don't give us that!" or "I don't want to work." If you stop talking, you would not have any work after 20 minutes! It nonsense. All the time, parents are talking about how school is more difficult for their kids since they can't get a C in English. Did he do the work? Did he study? Did he put some effort? That is what Parents should ask themselves and their kids before reacting to stuff their parents learned! It's the same thing! Nothing more than a few changes like a new president, a new war, nothing more.

Now about today's out of school region, what is the problem with most of the world today?!?!? I don't get why you have to buy shoes to be cool. I don't get why you have to sag and lower your reproduction count, boys. I don't get why dancing was become a form of sex. It's crap now! We shouldn't be wearing $200 shoes to be cool. We don't need to sag and raise our pants up every 20 seconds. It's ludicris!
PostSat Aug 30, 2003 12:40 pm
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Goldfinger2K

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that's what this topic was originally about, nice to see we're back on topic.
"ludicrous" Razz

peace
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"one time yug!-Steve O Fuss
Y.U.G.
"If I threw a stick would you go away?"-a shirt
"Toonami, better than getting kicked in the nuts!"-me
"If I was so inclined, I would have groped you five times!"^O^hohohohoho!-Vash
PostSat Aug 30, 2003 11:51 pm
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Rycel

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Jeez. With this thread going the way it has, I feel a little out-of-place even typing this post. I haven't really grown up in a hostility-prone environment. I haven't had much interaction with those holding no more than passive descriminatory attitudes. I myself am too open-minded for my own good at times, and this has led to a detached, observer mentality in my deeper moments. When I just take the time to examine something, no matter how vile, horrendous, or taboo the subject may be, I can always view both sides and come to an understanding of the matter. I know this sounds a little stone-hearted, but that's the way I am. The simple fact is, I can't relate to this argument about racism. And for that, I am sorry. I feel terrible.

Now why should I feel terrible for something that does not concern me in the very least? I don't know why. I don't think I'll every really know why. That's how I've always been. It's a kind of "sympathy pain of the soul" that I always feel whenever I even hear someone talking about others in pain. Physical pain, emotional pain, it doesn't matter, but I always feel it. Sound cheesy? Yeah, but I can't help it. And the fact that I can't really relate to most of the subject matter that induces it makes me feel even more guilty. Maybe that's what it really is; guilt. Maybe in a past life I was this horrible, despicable person that caused nothing but pain and my punishment was to be reincarnated into a person who could always feel the pain of others. What the hell, there's been crazier things in the world.

Anyway, through all my observation, I've come to the inescapable conclusion that humanity is doomed. No, that's not the right term to use. "Humanity" conjures images of kindness, generosity, and love for one's fellow. The human race is full of bigots, racists, criminals, predators, and selfish bastards. Isn't it ironic that people as a whole cannot live up to our own adjective? Call me cynical if you want, but I still believe that the human race is doomed to self-extintion, even if our generation does not live to see it. Blast, I've gone off on a tangent again.

Well, I may not be able to personally relate to (most of) the tragendies you all have suffered in this short time in your lives, but I can hope that none of you will ever experience mine. While I may not be a victim of racism, I may not have been ruthlessly bullied, and I may never know the fear of my life hanging in the hands of those consumed by blind hatred, at least, I pray, you will never know true lonliness. "Lonliness? What the hell is he talking about? I've been lonly before." No, not like me you haven't. Picture, if you will, being surrounded by people constantly. The room is filled with people of every shape, size, and other categorical denominations. They are all talking and jabbering to each other so loud that the sound merely flows into a stream of white noise. Execpt that you can't hear any of it. You can't see any of it. You can't even feel the masses crushing your body as they mill about. Everything is empty. This is how I live my life. Not because I'm handicapped, or even because I'm a recluse with no one to talk to, but because I'm alone in my world.

How, exactly? Simply put, I have no friends. I know this sounds ludicrous, but hear me out, please. To start this, we must go back to pre-school. Yeah it's a long way to go, but all stories start on page 1. I was never a popular child growing up. Hell, I was the kid that got dumped on whenever anyone had the opportunity. Nobody ever wanted to associate with me. In time, I tried to gain attention through my sense of humor, jokes and such. Unfortunately, nodoby thought I was funny, so it only provided more ammo for the me-bashers. And take in mind that while a small child's psyche is already easily damaged, I was naturally a sensitive soul, so it hurt all the more. I couldn't really go to my family as support, since I basically grew up as an only child (my closest sibling was finishing high school by this time) and being the youngest tends to get you a sheltered home-life. As the years went on, the words may have changed, but their meanings were still the same. Now we're at 3th or 4th grade. I don't really have any "friends" to speak of. Nobody invites me anywhere unless they need seats to fill. When a classmate did deign to speak with me, it always ended up with me giving them something that I didn't especially want to part with, but I gave it anyway, thinking that it may help to foster a relationship. Needless to say, that never worked. By the time I reched 6th grade, I was visibly worn out by my failed attempts to earn myself even 1 close friend. I sadly found out that my experiences had warped my psyche, I fear permanently so. You see, I could no longer trust. I had been burned time and time again so often that it had soured me to any cordial motion. When a remark finally did come my way, even a compliment, I couldn't tell if a person was being serious or if they were just saying it to get a rise out of me. To this day, I can't take even a minor compliment without a gut reaction that there is a malicious undertone to it. And for a person who's live's ambition is acting, this is a torturous existence. About this time (6th grade), I began having emotional breakdowns. The slightest remark would send me into a histerical sobbing fit as I stumbled away to be alone. Needless to say, the sight of an emotionally-fragile, crying boy is histerical to most 6th graders. So even when I finally did find a place of solitude, I could always hear the laughter in my mind. These fits became relatively rare as more time passed and I entered High School. They still happen (and most people would think for no reason) few and far between, but that doesn't mean they hurt any less.

Through all this time, yes, I did have a stable family. The stereotypical "Leave It to Beaver" family. But this did nothing to dissuade my internal pain. After all, families are just there. It's almost obligatory they love you. Besides, whenever I did have one of these fits and my parents were there to talk to me about them, this always made me feel worse, since they told me that seeing me in such a state made them feel guilty and that they'd failed as parents, which never helped ease my own pain in the least (*see above regarding my sympathy pain syndrome). So now I've moved into High School. Outside I'm jovial, hilarious, a talented thespian, and always ready to give of myself to others no matter how much they ask of me. Inside...well inside I was hating myself. "Why am I like this? Why don't I have any friends? I see other kids going off after school with each other to do fun things, but I never have that. No one ever asks me to go have a soda with them, or come to their house to share their hobbies. All I have is who I see at school, and even then nodbody seems to want me around." For three years, these thoughts filled my head. (God, just typing this stuff out makes me hurt.) Yeah, I went to the football games, and the school productions, and the dances, and the prom, but only because it was the thing to do. After all, I was in High School! Just because you feel like crap every time you see people else enjoying each others' company doesn't mean you shouldn't do this stuff. Besides, I won't even go into the catastrophe of when I developed "feelings" for someone and the fallout after I made them known. Let's just leave it as something that I've hated so much, I've all but given up on it ever happeneing. All in all, life sucked.

Then, in my Senior year, things started to change a little. But only a little. Since I have no social life to speak of, the stage was my life. Anything I could do regarding entertainment, I did, no matter how insignificant. Music, theatre, whatever, I was there. I suppose that having nobody to care about me just for the sake of caring made me a little starved for recognition. Sure the applause is fleeting and most of the time just obligatory, but hey, I made me feel good. Was my early venture into my life's ambition for the wrong reason? Yeah, but it was the only thing that gave me even a modicum of self-respect, so back off! Anyway, as I was "in the spotlight" for most of that year, my peers started to pay attention to me. They would pay me compliments on a particular performance, or how I just "blew them away with my talent." But of course you already know that none of it reached my brain without being twisted into paranoid thoughts of "What do they want from me now?". But even so, a slight ray of light made its way through the din of my psyche, and I realized that I could make other's happy through my performing. I thought, if I couldn't live happily, I may as well make others happy. Now I had found the right reason. But that still didn't change my mind on what I was. Sure I made other people happy by giving all I had every night, but I was still empty inside when that curtain fell and the lights faded. Thought all that, still nothing had changed.

Perhaps the strangest thing happened at the end of that year. I wasn't planning on going to the prom, since I "knew" that nobody would want to go with me. But one girl who was in the stage band (not the kind with trumpets and clarinets) with me asked and I said sure. At least I could be her escort and she could have fun. So we went, we danced, we all had a good time. Even for that brief time, I forgot my problem and I actually believed that I was "normal." For the girl, I was a perfect gentleman, like I always am. A generous, curtious, caring, "asking nothing in return," "just wanting you to have a wonderful time out" gentleman. I even sat with her while everyone else danced and gave her my coat when she said she was cold. Right up to the time I kissed her goodnight at her door, she had this weird look in her eyes. And I, being the lonly, naive, gullible, dumbass I am, had no clue whatsoever. Later, when the class went for the traditional night trip to Disneyland, she insisted on tagging along with me. I didn't mind her hobble, as I assume wearing heels for nearly 16 hours will give a girl sore feet. Naturally, I offered to carry her until we could find a store that sold socks. There was nothing in the offer but my usual caring nature, but she must have thought differently. Now we come to graduation day. As we're having this traditional breakfast in the auditorium, she asks me if I have any plans for the summer. When I say no, she asks if I want to do something with her. My response came from years upon years of having no friends, no social interaction, and even less experience dealing with the opposite sex: "Why?" Moments later, I was being told outside by a sobbing girl that she thought I liked her because I was always so nice to her and did all those chivalrous things for her. Well of course I liked her, but not in the way she had hoped. It struck me as the ultimate irony: a guy with no friends, who spent his entire life in anguish at the fact that nobosy would ever care about him, had just crushed a young woman's bleeding heart under his heel. Words cannot express the feelings of pain and guilt I felt at that point in my life. It remains to this day the most horrible feeling I have ever experienced. All I ever wanted in life was a friend, and I was too blinded by my own emptiness to see that other people cared about me. People cared, not becasue they had to or because it was convenient for them, but becayse they wanted to. The only thing I could do was hug her and say how sorry I was, that she didn't deserve to care about someone who couldn't care about others because he had given up on ever knowing happiness. To this day, I have yet to see her again.

And so that brings us to today, to here and now. This painful little life of mine, spelled out on so few letters on a computer monitor. Here I sit, typing this out. I know that none of you that read this will probably care about it all. I don't blame you. No one has yet. So why do I bother telling you this? Why do I tell the world about my pathetic little condition? Because I want each of you to know that things can be much, much worse than a few racial slurs or a black eye or two from a bully. You all have people in your lives that care about you. They don't have to, but they do. I probably have some too, but I can't see it. I'll probably go through the rest of my life, thinking that snobody will ever care about me. Sure, people will come and go in my life, but will any ever really care about me the way I always wanted? And I can probably forget about romance. Hell, I'm damaged goods, and nobody wants that. still I hear the words "friendship" and "love" tossed about every day, but I doubt that those who use them so casually actually know what they mean. I, however, do. Not because I have them, but because I have lived my entire life without them. I don't know if I ever will know someone I can truly call "friend." Someone I can confide in. Someone who will keep my secrets and share my pain. Someone who can count on me for the same things. Someone who will trust in me enough to place their own pain in my hands. Someone who will let me comfort them without fear of ridicule or judgement. Someone who will let me "love" them, and will "love" me in return. (Dammit, why am I crying? This is why I hate about talking about my feelings.) Just remember: If you ever feel like close-minded people, blinded by meaningless hate based on simple, skin-deep differences, remember that you are not alone in this world with the same problem. Count your blessings. I can't say the same.

P.S. Thank you for bearing with me through all that. Even if you don't care personally, if you learned anything through my misfortune, it won't have all been worthless.
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Rycel's Death Count on this board: 7
"Great Ironies of Our World": Why is orange juice yellow?
PostSun Aug 31, 2003 1:40 am
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JohnnyPsycho

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Thanks, Rycel, for sharing that with us, because it really isn't often someone will share something that deeply personal. Even I was surprised when I found myself suddenly tracing back the path of pain that racism has caused my family and my people. This message board has a strange effect on us like that sometimes. Guess it just means we're comfortable enough with everyone else in here to share this sort of stuff.

Anyway, I want to let my man Rycel know that, oddly enough, I also know a bit of what he's gone through, though perhaps not to the extreme that he expresses. I also had a hard time making friends in school up until highschool, and I also found needed relief and comfort in the performing arts (mostly band and school plays, plus the occassional political cartoon in the school newspaper just to show off to people). I also have an extremely strong sense of empathy (not to be confused with "sympathy", because empathy is feeling what the other is feeling not through experience, but because of a deeper conscious understanding of emotions). I also broke a girl's heart without realizing my own fault until it was too late (essentially, I dated her because it was "cool" to have a girlfriend, and not because I was particularly in love with her, so I inadvertently treated her like crap without realizing how selfish I really was until the very end). And buddy, I know what it feels like to be inside your own little world, socially "quaratined" from the rest of the beautiful people surrounding you.

Thankfully, when I entered highschool and college, I was able to find people just like me, the "geeks" and the "freaks", like finding the Island of Misfit Toys. My situation did turn better for a while. Yes, I still do have little bouts of depression from time to time, the last time occuring a couple years ago. When I was a sophomore here at the University, I had made a lot of friends in my dorm the previous year and had been hanging out with all of them at the beginning of that year when I was suddenly hired into a sort of Resident Assistant-type job, the type of job where you live in the dorms and act as the rule-enforcer of your floor. Well, this job was in another dorm, so I ended up moving away from my old dorm floor (which was made up of people in the "Honors College", basically really smart people who had scholarships and all that) into what was essentially the "student ghetto". I had a hard time trying to make friends there, and it was even worse because my classes got harder, and my new job didn't allow me as much time for other activities. I ended up doing very little for the rest of that year and the entire next year but go to class and then stay in my room. Eventually, though, I was able to move to a better dorm (after my job had ended) and was able to get into better contact with a few of those old friends plus a couple new ones. Now I'm living in an apartment off-campus with one of my better friends, another geek like me with a penchant for anime and videogames and an absolute hopeless romantic. My new goal for this year is not to get myself a girlfriend (though that is always among the top goals of every year) but to get my roommate a girlfriend.

I guess that's just how I am. I very easily make friends with guys who are unlucky in love and very socially inept, because I myself am one of those guys, and I try my darnedest to get those friends out of the funk they're in and out to experience the wide world. I'm just a big softy.

I guess that's also why I come into this message board and tell you guys when you're acting too rash, or offer advice in your love lives, or attempt to get you to open-up your views a bit and try to see the other side of the argument. Because I'm just a big softy that feels it's my duty to reform every last geek until he can become an intelligent, confident, and open-minded individual that I hope I can grow up to be someday.

...but who the hell am I kidding? Most of y'all just scroll past my long-ass posts anyway, because I "rant too much". So screw you guys. Screw your stupid asses, and I hope you get hit by a bus driven by a drunken Christopher Reeves...

Yo mama!! Razz

You have just witnessed a complete 180 mood-swing from the gleefully bipolar wonder, JohnnyPsycho

(By the way, humanity isn't doomed. It's lasted this long, and despite numerous doomsday proficies, I prefer to think of those visions of Apocalypic proportions as "wishful thinking". Humanity will keep hitting bumps in the road, but despite the extemely self-destructive nature of humans we will pull through and evolve... into even more messed up and self-destructive creatures, with big eyes and long-ass fingers... and, um, pointy ears...

...yeah, that's the ticket... Wink )
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"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostSun Aug 31, 2003 2:45 am
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JohnnyPsycho

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BTW, ToonamiL, baggy pants doesn't lower a man's sperm-count, but may in fact give the "boys" a little extra breathing room, allowing for the correct temperatures to produce numerous, healthy "little swimmers". It's when men were wearing those tight jeans in the 70's and 80's that their "junk" was all smashed up and risking lower sperm-counts just for the sake of more visually appealing "bulges".

...besides, I have no ass (no, really, my butt doesn't so much protrude as it kind of vaguely slopes in, blending in with the rest of my lower back), so I already have problems keeping my drawers up. Now I feel like I'm a trend-setter with my naturally saggy pants, and not a freak because of my naturally flat-ass. Laughing
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostSun Aug 31, 2003 2:56 am
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