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Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Martin's Bar
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Impossibles Max Fleisher's Superman (a.k.a. Roulette) The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest Robotech Sailor Moon DragonBall Z Filmation Superman Batman Superfriends
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FDD:*walks in* Well i'm glad that was taken care of. One question though: where the hell was Mr. T this whole time?
Mr. T:*appears on the stairs leading to the attic* Nobody uses profanity at my general direction foo.
FDD: Uhh...it wasn't me who said that...it was Kalma...yeah go punish him...
Kalma: WTF?! I did nothing. In fact I tried to destroy the bar.
Mr. T: Nobody tries to destroy the bar while Mr. T works here foo.
*Mr. T picks up Kalma and throws him out the window, nanites repair window*
FDD: Ahh another problem solved thanks to senseless violence. Now I wonder if the arcade still works... _________________ There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
Sun Jan 11, 2004 4:22 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
JohnnyPsycho: *standing behind the bar, drying a mug with a towel* So, Nobu, now that you got the bar problem solved, what are your plans for the bar now?
Nobuyuki: *looking up from his b33r* Hmmm? What do you mean?
JohnnyPsycho: Well, you paid off the back-taxes on this property, so that means that legally this place is yours now...
Nobuyuki: Holy cow! I never thought of it like that! Sweet!
FinalDivineDragoon: Yeah, you're the new head-honcho now. I wonder how Dread will feel about that.
Nobuyuki: Dread? Oh no, you're right! Dread has no idea any of this has happened! Oh my Gawd, he's gonna kill me once he finds out I bought the place out from under him! Great, what am I going to do now?
Mr. T: First things first, new boss foo! I ain't been paid in the past two months, and I'm gonna get what's due to me... or you'll get what was due to that dead-beat Dreadnot!
JohnnyPsycho: Yeah, plus all those beers you guys have been drinking since we've reopened... technically, those are your beers you've been drinking, not Dread's. You've already sucked through a whole keg and a half, which will probably have to come out of your own pocket. But hey, you're the guy who was able to collect $150,000 in less than a day, so I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about...
Nobuyuki: *gulp* Uh... right, I mean, it'll be no problem to, uh... Oh crap... *pulls out a cell phone, dials, and starts talking into it* Moshi-moshi! Genzo-san! This is Nobu-kun! Did my horses come in today?...
FinalDivineDragoon: *musing aloud as he drinks his beer* Ah yes, off-track betting... the great equalizer!
JohnnyPsycho: *eyebrow twitch* You mean the bar was saved through gambling? *sigh* This will get interesting... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Sun Jan 11, 2004 5:24 pm
Nobuyuki
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject: Can't just let it go smooth and easy, huh? :P
Nobu (into cellphone): They did? Good. Feed them to the lions as previously instructed. Konnichiwa. *hangs up* Glad that's settled. I'd have hated to feed my dead-beat patrons to them...but then again, there's tomorrow to worry about.
Mr. T: What about my backpay, foo?!
Nobu: No worries, no worries. Now, if JP will let the ninjas handle bouncing duties while you and I go to the office and fill out your new W-4 paperwork and direct deposit info...
JP: Hmm? Oh, no problem. I'm sure they're in no hurry to get back in their Pokeb...
UB-40's (in unison): NO!
Nobu: Well then, if Dread comes in while Mr. T and I are meeting, have him come to the office. I'll have the buyback contract drawn up (with very generous terms, for me) for him to sign. Now, FDD- you're the designated temporary bartender until I get back. JP, if you're interested, you can be the tab collector and keep 10% of anything you can get out of the deadbeats. I know you've got 7 little ones to feed, after all.
JP: Jeez, I dunno...
Nobu: Did I mention you could use any means necessary short of assassination?
JP: I'm in!
Nobu: One more thing. If anyone calls for "Bill", transfer the call to the office. Ganbatte!
*Nobu and T go to the office* _________________ "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
Sun Jan 11, 2004 7:49 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Haha. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Sun Jan 11, 2004 10:14 pm
FinalDivineDragoon
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
FDD: He's laughing, that is a sign of too much drinking....have him thrown out of the bar.
JP: Can't I take all his money first?
FDD: Sure why not . Besides, Nobu said you couldn't assasinate him. I am sure you could find numerous loopholes around that right?
JP: Of course. Leave everything to me .
Kalma: eep!
FDD: Now if only I could find some way to see if the arcades still work...ahh I got it. Hey JP!
JP:*is about 2 seconds from killing Kalma* eh?
FDD: Can I borrow one of your clones for a minute?
JP: Ahh sure I don't need all of them to take care of this weakling. So what do you want with him?
FDD: Just have him go see if the arcade still works, and if so try to break all the records on all the songs on the DDR cabinet just to make Dread feel really bad if he ever comes back.
JP: Ok....now about this "Kalma" and his "money"..... _________________ There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
Sun Jan 11, 2004 11:29 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 2: *stomping on the DDR pads* Aw, crap! How the hell do you work this bloody thing!
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 3: *from somewhere in the shadows nearby* Yeah, just keep stomping on it, Numbuh Two! That'll make it work...
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 2: *still stomping* Ah, shut it ye sarcastic-pants wanker!
FinalDivineDragoon: *sweating profusely* AAAHHH! Johnny! Get in here! Your stupid clone is wrecking the machine!!
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 2: Quit yer belly-aching, you silly poof! I'm not gunna break yer little toy! I know my way around machines... *puts foot through one of the squares* Oops, sorry! My bad!
FinalDivineDragoon: JOHNNY!!!
JohnnyPsycho: *walks into the bar* What? What is it? I'm kinda busy out here!
Kalma: *walks in, seemingly unscathed* Wait, Johnny! I was just about to tell you how to set up your financial portfolio so that you can put all of your kids through college!
FinalDivineDragoon: Hey! I thought you were beating the crap outta Kalma.
JohnnyPsycho: *sheepishly blushing* Heh heh, yeah, well, you see I was going to, but then he started talking about he wouldn't be able to support his family as an accountant if I broke his "calculator" hand, and, well... one thing led to another, and... *twiddling his thumbs*
FinalDivineDragoon: *in disbelief* B-b-but you're supposed to be "leaning" on him to pay up his bar tab, not getting sound financial advice! Wait a second... Kalma has a family?
Kalma: I do now! *holds up official "JohnnyPsycho Official Plot Device" certificate, with wallet-sized pictures of a family stapled to it*
Nobuyuki: *walking into the main bar from his office* Johnny, Johnny, Johnny... when will you learn? You can't just make up and distribute families to message board members like that!
JohnnyPsycho: Aw, c'mon! I can't make this joke work without it!
Nobuyuki: *looking stern* Johnny...
JohnnyPsycho: *sigh* Oh, alright, fine! *takes back the Plot Device certificate and tears it up*
Kalma: *weeping* Nooo! You've taken my family away from me, you bastard! I'll never see little Zuzu's smiling face ever again! *sobbing hysterically*
JohnnyPsycho: Aw, man! Now look at what you made me do! You made Kalma cry! Are you happy now?
Nobuyuki: *thinks for a second* Hmmm... oddly enough... Yes! I believe I am happy now. *walks back into office*
JohnnyPsycho: *consoling Kalma* There there... it's alright, buddy! I'll create a new family for you...
Kalma: *sulking* But I don't wanna new family...
JohnnyPsycho: How about I make you an astronaut... a firefighter maybe?
Kalma: *sniff* No!...
JohnnyPsycho: Aww, buck up, little feller!! Would you like some ice-cream? Hmmm? Or maybe a soda? Would you like a soda?...
FinalDivineDragoon: *sobbing at the other side of the bar* It's ruined! It's all ruined!!
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 2: Ah... don't worry yerself, lad! A little duct-tape, and it'll be as good as new!...
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 4: *jumping from the shadows, putting his arm around FDD, and scolding Clone-Droid 2* Okay, I think you've "helped" enough, Numbuh Two... this guy's a wreck...
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 2: *muttering* ...pansy... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Mon Jan 12, 2004 2:55 pm
Green-Bird
Joined: Apr 14, 2003
Post subject:
*glares at Kalma, and drinks sake* _________________ I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new
Wilco- Ashes of American Flags
Mon Jan 12, 2004 9:44 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
JohnnyPsycho: Hey! That guy didn't pay for his drink!
*a blur of activity, and suddenly all six clone-droid ninjas are pointing their weapons at Green-Bird*
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 1: Swallow that last sip of drink, and I'll slit your throat, pendejo. Comprende?
Green-Bird: *trying to talk with a couple of blades to his throat and a mouthful of sake* I'm... *gurgle*... gonna pay! I shwear!!
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 4: Well then I suggest you do so, and quickly, least my compatriots and I get antsy for a throw-down...
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 5: Yeah, so I suggest you reach for your wallet... carefully... yeah, that's it... and pull out your credit card...
Green-Bird: *gurgle* Do you akshept *gurgle* debit cargssss? *slurp*
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 3: *takes G-B's wallet* Wipe your mouth, you slob... *pulls up a sleeve to reveal a card-reading slot in his forearm, and slides the card through* Wait a second...
Green-Bird: Can I *gulp* shwallow yet?...
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 4: Patience is a virtue...
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 3: ...Card Accepted... Yes, you can swallow now...
*everyone lowers their weapons*
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 2: There now... that wasn't so hard now, was it love? Thank you for your hospitality and fuck-all! *laughs loudly and slaps G-B hard on the back, forcing him to choke back a mouthful of warm sake*
Green-Bird: *choking* Joh... *hack, cough*... Johnny! Was any of this... *cough* really necessary?
JohnnyPsycho: Sorry, but the bar's seen its share of deadbeats. We're just covering all bases...
Green-Bird: *gives JP an evil glare while muttering to himself* ...stupid ass...
JohnnyPsycho: *hearing G-B* Wait a minute! Where's my tip?
*all six clone-droids point their weapons at G-B again*
Green-Bird: Oh, for the love of... *carefully reaches into his pocket and pulls out some change, slams it on the bar*
*clone-droids re-sheath weapons*
JP-UB40 Shinobi Clone-Droid 2: Thank you once again for your patronage... ye daft little poof...
Green-Bird: *grumbling incoherently* _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Mon Jan 12, 2004 10:21 pm
Green-Bird
Joined: Apr 14, 2003
Post subject:
*walks up to his room in the infinate hallway*
*goes back to the bar with a laptop, a duck, duct-tape and Kalma's severed head*
JP: What the...
G-B: I'm gonna try to add some new songs for Bono. _________________ I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new
Wilco- Ashes of American Flags
Tue Jan 13, 2004 3:15 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
*grabs Kalma's head, the duct-tape, and tapes Kalma's head back on*
JohnnyPsycho: *sternly, to G-B* Let's not go around stirring up unnecessary trouble, comprende? I hate having to kick all you bastards out everytime there's another damn fight...
Kalma: Goddammit, you taped my head on backwards you quack!
JohnnyPsycho: *looking at the back of Kalma's head* What? I think it's an improvement myself... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Tue Jan 13, 2004 4:02 pm
dougisfunny
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Post subject:
definatley and it'll scare away fewer customers _________________ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Wed Jan 14, 2004 9:29 am
Green-Bird
Joined: Apr 14, 2003
Post subject:
Comprendo, and I'll take a long island ice tea, please.
*pats kalma on the head* _________________ I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new
*Kalma fades out of existence in this dimension of Mark's Bar II.*
Suddenly out of the sky a moonrock falls on the bar, curtisy of Bill.
*Kalma fades back in to this dimension*
WTF? Was that? What the hell happend to the bar? Oh well. At least it is destroyed. Not sure how though.
Bill: Neat trick eh? Basically, Kalma, there are many dimensions in which you exist. In this one you happen to be a lawyer. In annother you are a fighter. Somewhere else you are a helpful curtious member of society. (God how the hell did that happen?) See, one of the other you's was about to be crushed due to some psycho babble about a closed universe. Anyway, I sent it where it would help one of you the most.
Ok, wierd. Now I gotta run before the cops show up.
*Runs*
The End _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Wed Jan 14, 2004 10:25 pm
Nobuyuki
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
*Nobu and T exit office, T goes back to work*
Nobu: *Looking thru window* Look't that dustcloud over there at Mark's Bar. I reckon a moonrock or something hit it. Hoo boy, sure glad I'm not that Mark feller. Damn shame...oh well, less competition for us.
Who wants what?! _________________ "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
Wed Jan 14, 2004 10:34 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Dammit. Note to self: Drop Moon Rock on correct bar. Hmm, now what? Oh of course! Reality tampering time. Now then Martin's Bar II will be smashed now.
*Kalma once again fades out of reality*
Kalma: WTF? Not again.
*Moon Rock actually hits the right bar this time.*
Kalma: Dammit Bill! Why cant you even hit the right bar the first time?
Bill: Sorry. My aim was off because I was a little unfamilliar with this dimension. I hit the right one this time right?
Kalma: Yeah. Everyones dead now. Well. Everyone that was in the bar. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
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Holy cow! I never thought of it like that! Sweet! 
