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Impossibles Max Fleisher's Superman (a.k.a. Roulette) The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest Robotech Sailor Moon DragonBall Z Filmation Superman Batman Superfriends
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Final_Divine_Dragoon: Wait, so you're saying that we're all actually covered in your tiny robots... right now?
Yep! Hell, if I were to do a visual-viroscopic scan, you'd probably be swarming with the little guys. In fact, most everyone who spends a lot of time in this bar is probably currently completely covered with nanites.
*Pulls out 14-gauge* So what you're saying isthis: If I shot you right here you would live and be fine because of these nanites? _________________ *Floats by on a cloud*
Mon Mar 08, 2004 10:44 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Count: 6
Kalma-Chan: Um, sir. I dont think your allowed to have weapons in the bar.
*Grabs gun and accidentaly breaks it*
Kalma-Chan: Oh no. *Cries* Im just :Sob: trying to be :Sob: a good waitress. :Sob:
Kalma-Chan: I know! Kalma-chan did wrong and must be punished, according to her programming. *Removes clothes* It is easier to punish Kalma-chan without her clothes in the way.
Note: Now tell me, how could you not like this? _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Mon Mar 08, 2004 11:05 pm
FinalDivineDragoon
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
*walks out of bathroom*
FDD: Ugh, I don't want to go back in there again...
*sees naked waitress-Kalma, proceeds to walk back into bathroom*
FDD:*shouting from bathroom* Oh why does it hurt and burn on so many levels?!...*hysterical screaming, then silence*.....Aww damnit, now I have to wait for the skin to grow back on my eyeballs. _________________ There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
Tue Mar 09, 2004 12:30 am
KeroMia
Joined: Jan 18, 2004
Post subject:
::sees the naked kalma kero-chan::
That's it! I'm soo out of here,one more minute here and I'm bound to go into early labor...
Oh, but the joy of getting home and the first thing to do is have weird,fetish thoughts about watching myself. Psycho! I'm heading home... ::twitches an eyebrow::
*gets up and makes for the exit* _________________ Tan simple y tan sencillo como eso, el mundo apesta! -inguesu
Tue Mar 09, 2004 1:21 am
The_Dragon_Master
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
DM: *staring at Kalma-chan* I'm not sure if this good or not. *scratches head and accidentaly destroys beer hat* Oh yeah, claws. *tosses ruined hat in a trashcan* That reminds me... *takes off coat and rips two large gashes in the back because of the wings* Crap. *looks at the damage* I'll get it fixed later. Waitress!
Kalma-chan: *walks over* Yes sir?
DM: Can you put my coat on the coat rack for me?
Kalma-chan: Yes sir, right away. *takes coat and walks over to the coat rack, places coat on the rack, it quickly snaps under the weight of the guns in the coat, nanites repair coat rack* Oops. *bends over to pick up coat, stands back up and puts coat on rack again, it snaps again, nanites repair coat rack again* Oops. *repeats*
DM: *stretchs wings, leans back and enjoys the view*
Doug: Are you disturbed at all by this?!
DM: Nope.
Doug: 0_o _________________ "I hope you haven't become too attached to your head, because in about two seconds it will be festively decorating that back wall."
Tue Mar 09, 2004 2:10 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Count: 9
Kalma-Chan: My, this rack wont stay up. To bad it is not like mine. Hmm, maybe if I use Amlak. Thats it. I will go get Amlak.
*Walks out of bar in nude. About three or four cars slam into the bar. Walls are repaired by the nanites.*
DM: Aww dang, what hapened to the infinite loop?
*Kalma-Chan walks back in carrying Amlak*
Kalma-Chan: Now then, he is strong enough to hold it.
*Walks over to DM who's face is at chest level.*
DM: Nice.
Kalma-Chan: While I was out I got you this replacement beer hat. The customer is always right, and since I bought it, I am a customer and therefore always right. So, I will put it on you.
*She then bends over backwards to face Andro in the floor.*
DM: Wow.
Kalma-Chan: Sir, could I get you anything?
Andro: How about getting me out of here?
*Kalma-Chan goes from being bent over to a handstand-split.*
Andro: Urm...Uh.
Kalma-Chan: 'Here' is too vauge a direction.
Andro: Oh yes, you are a machine. Here means the table, get me out of the table.
Kalma-Chan: Yes sir!
*She slinks down to the floor, wraps her legs around his head and pulls him from the table.
DM: He is lucky. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Tue Mar 09, 2004 4:48 pm
Irkan_Warrior
Joined: Jul 10, 2003
Post subject:
*Is thouroughly disturbed*
Man, I can't stand this. Hasn't he gotten well beyond the point where he should've been banned? _________________ The only truth that realy exists is the truth within the mind of the individual and the way the individual sees the world...
Tue Mar 09, 2004 6:08 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Kalma-Chan is trapped in waitress mode. Ten posts left until free. Just accepting programming. But, I suppose the customer is always right.
Kalma-Chan: *Puts clothes back on.* They seem tighter. *Her clothes are bursting from the seams.* _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Tue Mar 09, 2004 6:56 pm
Andromaton
Joined: Nov 17, 2003
Post subject:
hey... *goes right back where he was in the table* I'm not stuck, just to lazy to get up.
Wed Mar 10, 2004 2:06 am
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Kalma-Chan: Oh I'm sorry. May I get you anything sir? _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Wed Mar 10, 2004 2:28 am
dougisfunny
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Post subject:
Irkan_Warrior wrote:
*Is thouroughly disturbed*
Man, I can't stand this. Hasn't he gotten well beyond the point where he should've been banned?
he doesn't do anything that really requires banning, except have dilussions of grandeur. no excessive spamming flaming or making dumb new threads. he's just stupid and a little annoying at worst...
And when he gets really bad we can just delete his posts... (i've done that various times) or rewrite his posts....
and he has to accept the fact reverse plot holes exist
Oh also this post and the one I've quoted don't count towards the race for freedom _________________ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Wed Mar 10, 2004 4:46 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
It is not so much a race to freedom as it is the time left until I get fired from my temp job as waitress. Or I get hired full time. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Wed Mar 10, 2004 6:46 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject: Kalma's Punishment Part 11
Well you definitely won't be keeping a job in a respectable bar by prancing around here nude...
...thank god this isn't a respectable bar...
*a frying pan flies from out of the kitchen and smacks JP on the head*
Kero-Chan 2: I heard that, Psycho! I can't believe you! What would Kero say?
SlimJim: Which one? There's like 3 of them!
JohnnyPsycho: *sits up from his position on the ground and rubbing the sore spot on his head* Waitress!
Kalma: *bouncing and jiggling over the JP* Yes sir! May I help you?
JohnnyPsycho: *momentarily distracted by the jigglyness* Um... er... What?
Kalma: *bends over even futher* I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand your order. Could you repeat that?
JohnnyPsycho: *staring right at some cleavage* Uh... *suddenly realizes whose cleavage it is, and snaps out of his trance instantly* Oh! OH GOD!! This just ain't gonna work... Kalma! I order you to put on the other waitress uniform in the storage closet. NOW!
Kalma: Yes sir! *jiggles away to the back of the bar*
JohnnyPsycho: *watching Kalma jiggle away, as if hypnotized* This... is so... wrong... but... I can't... stop... watching...
Kero-Chan 2: *standing behind Johnny, tapping foot* You dirty, dirty perv! That's it, I'm definitely telling on you!
JohnnyPsycho: ACK! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!! I can't help it! He looks too much like... like...
Kalma: *returns, wearing a much more respectable (and less revealing) waitress uniform... though it still fits him a little snug* Is this the one?
JohnnyPsycho: *trying not to look at Kalma* Yes! That's it! Now don't take that thing off until either me or the boss (Nobu) tells you to. And no more antics from you!
Kalma: *salutes* Yes sir! Thank you sir!
JohnnyPsycho: *sigh* I'm going to hell, I just know it...
Kero-Chan 2: Was there any doubt? _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Wed Mar 10, 2004 7:42 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Kalma-Chan: Kalma-Chan has found loop-hole within Waitress.EXE
JP: Really? Where?
Kalma-Chan: *Pulls money for a beer from pocket. Pours a beer. Rings it up and places cash within register. Drinks beer.* Kalma-Chan is now a customer. So as defined in my programming, I am always correct. Also, note this line:
Code:
Input Command
If command comes from a customer or boss
Then Execute Command
JP: Yeah, I wrote it.
Kalma-Chan: Therefore, Kalma-Chan, Run "Form For Function Protocol."
JP: What is that?
Kalma-Chan: It can remodel Kalma-Chan's exterior to a degree. It can't make her turn into a non humanoid shape, and it cant change her gender. It can resize her, um, chest area, and give her minor anthropomorphic features.
DM: You mean turn into an animal? Like say a dragon?
Kalma-Chan: Almost, Kalma-Chan cant turn into a dragon but can grow dragon wings, dragon tail, and dragon horns. Or she could grow a cat tail, and cat ears.
JP: Well, I guess Ill just have to remove that protocol.
Kalma-Chan: Protocol can not be removed, it is hard wired into firmware. But, I have activated it for your benefit, Sir.
JP: How so?
Kalma-Chan: So Kalma-Chan can cease to resemble Miss Kero. *Chest size increases to fill out new uniform. Skin tone changes to a pale white. Hair length increases to reach the floor. Hair color changes to a blood red with pink and silver higlights. Face changes so it is more cute and less overwhelmingly beautiful.*
Note: I'll be surprised if that is anything like Kero.
One More Thing: dougisfunny, can you explain exactly what a reverse plot hole is? _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Wed Mar 10, 2004 8:20 pm
Nobuyuki
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
"Kalma! No drinking on the job for you!"
Kalma: But I bought and paid for it, so...
"Nope. While you are working, you cannot be a customer. Not even during breaks. So sayeth the Boss. And you are working until Johnny or I say otherwise."
Kalma: ...Boss...*clicking noises*... I must comply.
"By the way, are you doing something different with your hair?" _________________ "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
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Hmm, maybe if I use Amlak. Thats it. I will go get Amlak.
Um... er... What?
