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Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Martin's Bar
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Kalma: Well, I didn't want to use it, just keep it from being used against me. Apparantly it worked. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Sun Mar 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Nobuyuki
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
*from behind the office door (loudly)*: But did you have to ruin my bag in the process? I think not, you cross-dressing nitwit!
Kalma: I'm not a cross-dresser, I'm a trans-sexual! _________________ "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
Mon Mar 08, 2004 1:39 am
KeroMia
Joined: Jan 18, 2004
Post subject:
KeroMia:*glaring at Nobu in the locked room* That... that,Boob- fiend!I'm mexican baby, no one tells me I can't handle the power! I want my Multi-versal remote power control thing-a-ma-jig back!
Nobu:*making a sly smile through the door window*
KeroMia:That's it, I'm gonna use puddin power on you now! * utters out mass kero kawaii power and bursts open the door *
FDD:*totally confused* okay now I when I thought I seen it all, there's this kero kaw... we...we power? I guess she's the real KeroMia...
KeroMia02:Are you sure about that? How do you know I'm not the original? Or the dimensional Kero that speaks only in cuban?
FDD: No,then again I'm not sure about anything I see here.
KeroMia:*begins to the heighten the drama queen act and takes a page out of a novela*
All I ever wanted was to have a itsy bit of power, just to bring a little joy and pleasure out of my everyday innocently sadistic house wife days.And out of the blue,by the acts of the unnatural, all seven of my children, and the super natural it was given to me in the form of a remoto control...
all I wanted was a my remoto control... *pouts*
Andro:* sniffing from the slums of the floor* This is so like something I saw on el spanishvision.
KeroMia:*breaks out in tears and begins to squish Nobu* Was it to much to ask for when I had it?
Nobu:*choking and gasping for air* nuh...uhhh...
KeroMia:*gets in a desperate act and starts shaking Nobu* Well give it back, to me now!?
_________________ Tan simple y tan sencillo como eso, el mundo apesta! -inguesu
Mon Mar 08, 2004 1:42 am
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
JohnnyPsycho: *sigh* All this fuss over a little remote, sheesh...
Kalma: It's not just a remote, Johnny, and you know it! You created that damn thing just to mess with me, admit it!
JohnnyPsycho: Again, I did not make it, my eldest children did, as a loving memento to their mother.
Kalma: Well, the joke's on you, buddy! Because now no one can use that...
*Johnny pulls out a Multi-veral Remote from his pocket*
Kalma: ...remote? HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!!
JohnnyPsycho: I know what you're going to say, so let me explain. This remote is my own, a direct copy I made after the kids made theirs for their mom. Plus, it's keyed only to myself, scanning not only my genetic coding but also measuring my brainwaves to ensure that only the proper psyche is using it. Therefore, not even my clones can use this thing. I know, it seems like a cheap plot device to pull out at this point in the game, but hell, you left me no choice with your ridiculously paranoid behavior.
Kalma: Well then I'll just Acceler... *thud* OW! *hits the floor*
JP-UB40 Clone-Droid 5: *suddenly "appearing" over the fallen Kalma* Sorry, but your Acceleration power has been deemed useless now.
JP-UB40 Clone-Droid 1: *appearing next to the first* You see, we've been watching you carefully this whole time, and have adapted our own Acceleration capabilities to not only match, but surpass your own.
JP-UB40 Clone-Droid 2: *appearing, standing on top of Kalma's back* So you see, lad, if you try any of that Acceleration crap in here again, you'll be toasted by 6 very unfriendly ninjas who can run 10 times faster than yourself...
JohnnyPsycho: *seeing the unbelieving look in Kalma's face* What? I watched a lot of Cyborg 009 while I was building these guys... *presses a button on his remote, a high-pitched mechanical whine is heard, and a black object suddenly bursts through a wall, and stops to hover in front of Kero*
KeroMia: My remote! Yay!
JohnnyPsycho: *to Kero* You know, I can probably get the kids to upgrade your remote so that not even those that are genetically identical to you can touch that thing without its defenses flaring up...
Kalma: *crying* But I don't wanna be under control of any remote-thingies!
JohnnyPsycho: Well then you better learn how to play nice while you're in the bar.
JP-UB40 Clone-Droid 2: *sitting on top of Kalma* Should we gut this poof?
JohnnyPsycho: *suddenly disturbed by the image of his own clone sitting on top of someone who looks exactly like his wife* Um, no, I think I've got a better idea... *presses some buttons on his remote*
Kalma: What... what are you doing?!? Wait, I know what you're... NOOOO, you can't do THAT!! *struggling to free him/herself, but the heavily cyber-enhanced clone-droids easily keep him/her still*
JohnnyPsycho: *still pressing buttons* Don't worry... this won't hurt a bit...
*a little later*
JohnnyPsycho: *talking to a very calm Kalma* ...okay, you understand your programming?
Kalma: *dressed in a very revealing, tight-fitting bar-maid outfit* Yes sir... *sigh* (not that I really have any choice...)
JohnnyPsycho: This is your punishment, Kalma. For the next thirty posts, you are to be the official waitress of the bar. Your cybernetic programming is completely under control of both of mine and Kero's Multi-versal controls, so there is no way you can do anything in here but act as waitress to the patrons of this bar. Any posts where you claim to do anything beyond waitressing will be completely ignored by the continuum of Martin's Bar. After 20 posts (which do not count your OWN posts, so don't even try to cheat, buddy... what counts as a whole post will be up to everyone in the bar), we will review your conduct, and if you seem to have learned your lesson, you will be paroled and allowed limited freedoms in the bar. If you resist or act foolish too many times, your sentence may be expanded as long as Nobu feels is fit. Any questions?
Kalma: Yeah, can I please wear some actual clothes? I'm feeling kinda... "exposed" in this... *looks over shoulder to see the clone-droids leering at him/her* C'mon, at least let me borrow a holographic imaging device so I can have the illusion of my own manly body...
JohnnyPsycho: Sorry, but my lawyer says I can't allow you to hide your current condition as a Kero-lookalike...
Mephistopholes: *appearing in a puff of fire and brimstone smoke* Hello, Mr... er, I mean, Ms. Kalma. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Mr. Psycho's lawyer, the infernal Mephistopholes, Lieutenant of Satan's dark forces and attourney at law. If you'll notice this part of your contract with the Dark Prince, you will see...
Kalma: Okay, okay, nevermind! I get the picture. *looking evilly to JP* Really, JP, that's pretty low of you. I mean, who would have guessed you had ties with Hell?
JohnnyPsycho: You don't know me very well, do you? *presses one last button on his remote* Okay, as of this second, your punishment begins. Remember, "the customer's always right". And keep smiling! _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Last edited by JohnnyPsycho on Mon Mar 08, 2004 6:38 am; edited 1 time in total
Mon Mar 08, 2004 6:15 am
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject: Kalma's Punishment, part 1
*Author's Note: Please indulge in JP's wishes to punish Kalma, even if he was acting in a distorted "self-defense". This is "POST #1" of Kalma's 20 post punishment, where he will have to act as the bar's waitress/barmaid. Kalma's own posts don't count as posts. If Kalma behaves himself, I'll probably give him an early parole. Any claims made by Kalma that are outside the role of a waitress in the bar are to be completely ignored. Thank you*
JohnnyPsycho: *watching Kalma take drink orders* Well, I think this plan might just work...
KeroMia: Are you sure? You said that last time when you installed the nanites, and since then you've had to upgrade those things so many times because they keep getting overworked by all the crazy destruction that goes on in here.
JohnnyPsycho: *ahem* Yes, well, this is different. If this little experiment of mine works, this could cause a revolution in the way message boards govern themselves, and especially the way in which fantasy "story arc" threads are run.
Nobuyuki: Excuse me for interrupting you while you bask in your own hubris, Johnny, but can I ask you something? Am I still supposed to pay Kalma, or is he like slave labor or something? Because I don't want the feds on my butt...
JohnnyPsycho: Well, because of several recent rulings about the nature of Artificial Lifeforms, and because Kalma's central nervous system has become almost 90% cybernetic, including his brain, he's basically considered a "appliance" by the state and local governments.
KeroMia: Did you have to dress him in such a... *ahem*... "revealing" outfit?
JohnnyPsycho: Well, I thought the place needed some extra classiness in it, you know? He's like a real cocktail waitress in that thing.
KeroMia: Yeah, but I mean, he's got my body! Just looking at him in that thing makes me kinda embarrassed.
JohnnyPsycho: Well, you know, I've got an extra outfit just like it for you back home...
KeroMia: You never change, do you?
KeroMia's trans-dimensional double: *walking up to Nobu* That's no fair! Why does that floozy get a job in here, and I get stuck just being an invisible incidental character?
Nobuyuki: Well... we do need a new short-order cook... plus I guess you can double as a second waitress on busy nights...
KeroMia's double: You got yourself a deal! *walks into the kitchen*
KeroMia: Remember Nobu, you have to pay her.
Nobuyuki: Oh crap, that's right! *follows Kero's double into the kitchen* Wait! I need you to sign some papers first!... _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Mon Mar 08, 2004 6:36 am
dougisfunny
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Post subject:
*listen to Johnny if you know what's good for you*
Doug:And why would she want a job in a place like this? Crazy moon language chicas
*Returns to the lounge on the other Side of the Bar subtitled if you can see this you're special*
Doug: It's almost like the emporor's new clothes _________________ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Mon Mar 08, 2004 9:24 am
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Ok, my posts dont count toward the 20.
This is where you see into the trapped mind of Kalma through the use of external remote control of Amlak, who if you forgot is still unconsious in the road from Mr. T tossing him out the window.
Begin
Amlak, wake up.
Get up and find me, I look like Kero.
Apparantly Im dressed as a waitress.
Ok, um no. That is her clone.
No that is Kero.
Know what, forget finding me, just go to my house and find that disc with my original core programming on it. Ill need it later to repair the damage done by the waitress program.
Good, get going. No, wait not through the window.
Well, the nanites reparied it so thats ok.
Why dont you get them to follow you?
Good, they will help you.
End
There you have it, I just needed to make some setup preparations to return to normalcy. By the way, in case you forgot since I started posting here, remember that I was a lawyer. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Mon Mar 08, 2004 11:47 am
dougisfunny
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Post subject:
Apparently not a good one... _________________ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Mon Mar 08, 2004 4:30 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Once again, I dont count. Current total: 3
Yeah, I know, and thanks for eliminateing my double post.
For some reason, the board told me I couldnt delete it because it wasnt mine, even though it was. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Mon Mar 08, 2004 4:57 pm
JohnnyPsycho
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject: Kalma's Punishment Part 4
dougisfunny wrote:
Apparently not a good one...
LOL
Anyway, Kalma, your double won't get very far with my nanites. Being microscopic, composed completely of nanotechnology and engineered protein strands, and smaller than most bacteria, they tend to "swarm" all over everything just like bacteria.
But, just like living organisms, there needs to be certain conditions to allow them to survive. Namely, they need to stay within the "body" of the bar, just like many bacteria cannot survive for long outside a "host". The fact is, once people leave this bar, the nanites tend to completely dissolve off of them. They were carefully engineered that way.
Final_Divine_Dragoon: Wait, so you're saying that we're all actually covered in your tiny robots... right now?
Yep! Hell, if I were to do a visual-viroscopic scan, you'd probably be swarming with the little guys. In fact, most everyone who spends a lot of time in this bar is probably currently completely covered with nanites. Hell, they're probably even floating in your drinks!
*everyone in the bar simultaneously spits out their drinks in disgust*
Final_Divine_Dragoon: *runs to the bathroom, about to be sick*
What? What did I say? _________________ "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee
"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
Mon Mar 08, 2004 5:09 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Um, do I care, he dosent need them, it was just a plot device.
One question: Am I allowed to make posts like this one where I am for all intents and purposes advanceing a plot while going about my buisiness of waitressing?
Hehe, post count: 4 (Yes, four non-me posts)
Kalma: Oh my. It seems you all need new drinks. I will get some.
Everyone: No!
Kalma: But, error, I must serve drinks as I am a waitress and this is a bar.
Everyone: We dont want any.
Kalma: Then you are solicitors, I think. Do solicitors have to leave? I do not know, thereofre I was not programmed correctly. Must be updated... *Shutdown* _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Mon Mar 08, 2004 5:22 pm
Nobuyuki
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
dougisfunny wrote:
Apparently not a good one...
Actually, I'm going to disqualify that particular post, as it's a response to an out-of-character comment by Kalma.
___________________
(in play)
Actually, when you really think about it, there's a lot more microscopic organisms besides the nanites crawling around everything...
dougisfunny: Do we need to talk about this now?
I'm just saying they're mostly harmless, and those who've seen Nadesico know that some nanites are actually beneficial to the human body. So drink up!
Kalma, bring a beer to me over here in my office. I have paperwork to fill out. _________________ "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
Mon Mar 08, 2004 6:42 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
So, the total is still at: 4
Yes sir, Nobuyuki-Sempai. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:33 pm
dougisfunny
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Post subject:
Kalma wrote:
Once again, I dont count.
So true... So true...
*Returns from lounge... man the food over there is soo much better. Stuffed Shells mmmm.*
Seems Like the remote control on Amlak went out of range....
He just stopped walking. Hate it when remote control cars do that. Man so anyways, How is the new cook?
*JJc14 comes out of the bathroom looking green*
JJ: All I can say is don't try the chili dogs
Doug: good thing all I wante dwas a cherry coke.
*Kalmet brings drink*
Doug: here you go have this as a tip, and eat it will you?
Kalmet: But its an M80, that's lit...
Doug: better hurry then, remember the customer is always right
*Kalmet's programming takes over*
Kalmet: Nooo! *Gulp*
*Kalmet's head blows up*
Nobu: Now we need a new short order cook.... Kero 02 come out here and be a waitress, and bring a mop
Doug: Wait for it... If i'm right (which of course I am)
*nanites repair Kalmet's head *
Doug: see, he is just an appliance for the moment, and since he is owned by the Bar, the nanites repair him... excellent oppurtunities for torture, and remember. The customer is always right
_________________ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Mon Mar 08, 2004 9:16 pm
Kalma
Joined: Nov 03, 2003
Post subject:
Order: Cherry Coke
Ingredients:
2 Parts Crushed Ice
4 Parts Coke
1 Part Cherry Syrup
1 Marashino Cherry
Kalma-Chan: Your drink sir. _________________ You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being near your loved ones.
"If you people cared as much for human life as we do, we wouldn't have to kill all of you."
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You don't know me very well, do you? *presses one last button on his remote* Okay, as of this second, your punishment begins. Remember, "the customer's always right". And keep smiling!
You never change, do you?
Oh crap, that's right! *follows Kero's double into the kitchen* Wait! I need you to sign some papers first!...
