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  Toonami Infolink :: View topic - Martin's Bar
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Martin's Bar
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FinalDivineDragoon

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
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Would it be ok to answer N/A to all questions?
_________________
There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
PostSun Aug 15, 2004 5:57 pm
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Nobuyuki

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject: Vain attempt at thread repair...
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FinalDivineDragoon wrote:
Would it be ok to answer N/A to all questions?

I suppose you could, but that begs the question, "why did you bother pick up an application in the first place?" Wink
_________________
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
Wink
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
PostSun Aug 15, 2004 6:01 pm
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FinalDivineDragoon

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
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Who said you had to pick it up in order to fill it out?
_________________
There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
PostSun Aug 15, 2004 6:02 pm
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JohnnyPsycho

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Joined: Nov 14, 2002
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Oh yeah, that reminds me...

*hits a button on his watch, causing a trapdoor to open in the floor of the stage, and a cartoonishly large laser sentry-gun rises from the floor, pointing at FDD*

...this is a mandatory application process...

*laser sentry-cannon warms up and begins to glow*

Twisted Evil please fill out every part of the application in its entirity, or else I'll be forced to judge your genetic fortitude from your smoking remains... Twisted Evil

Thank you, and good luck in your future endevours...

mwahahahahahahahahahahaha....
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostSun Aug 15, 2004 7:49 pm
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FinalDivineDragoon

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
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Can I answer every question on the application verbally? Technically that would be considered filling the application out to its entirity....that and no one can understand my handwriting....
_________________
There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
PostSun Aug 15, 2004 10:59 pm
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JohnnyPsycho

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Joined: Nov 14, 2002
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whatever... just make sure you answer every question...

Oh, and for the swimwear competition, I want you to wear this diving helmet and these lead boots... er, you're in charge of finding your own swimsuit...

any contestant found entering the swimwear contest in the buck will be vaporized immediately...

uh, but you at least have to wear a tie for the evening wear... uh, and clean underwear...
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostSun Aug 15, 2004 11:58 pm
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Nobuyuki

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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
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Question: Can the clean underwear double as the swimsuit?
_________________
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
Wink
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
PostMon Aug 16, 2004 12:02 am
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FinalDivineDragoon

Obsessor
 

Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
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Can we use the tie from said evening wear portion for said swimwear contest?
_________________
There is limited intelligence in the galaxy, but the stupidity of the universe is infinite.
PostMon Aug 16, 2004 1:24 am
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Green-Bird

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Joined: Apr 14, 2003
Post subject:
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Name: Green-Bird

Age: 184 years

D.O.B.: 9/24/1820

Blood Type: [O]

Ethnicity: (choose all that apply) [White/Caucasian] [Asian/Pacific Islander] [Cyborg American]


Species: Human/Immortal

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother's Maiden Name: Johns

Father's Maiden Name: Bird

Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Ilisa

Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Lennon

Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name: Chambers

Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: Smith

Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: Marley

Your Maiden Name (if applicable): Bird

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Known Inheritable Family Health Risks: I don't have any.



Known Inheritable Family Superpowers:None.



Other Known Inheritable Traits: Sometimes my split personality, Batman will come out and fight crime. It's fucking weird.




Non-Inherited Superpowers: While as Green-Bird- Flight and near anything, dammit. Whlie as Batman- None



Do you have experience using or can you operate or perform the following tasks? (answer Yes or No)

Cash register: Yes

Computer: Yes

Bartending: Yes

Waiting/Customer Service: Yes

Cooking: Yes

DJ equipment/PA or Sound Equipment: Yes

(Can you also supply your own DJ equipment?): Yes

Nano-robot based repair systems: Yes

Interdimensional portals/Stargates/Wormhole generators/Time machines:Yes

Abacus: No


Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific):
Jeet Kun Do, and a little bit of Gung-Fu.

Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Japanese, Chinese, Predator


Other useful skills: Uhhh, I can breakdance and I can spit fire!


Other useless skills: Glomping members.


Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): I can play guitar, trumpet, Piano and blues harp. I can also sing. I write somewhat good.



Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): Shirt: XL, Pants: XL, Socks:L, Thong: XL.



Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview): XL


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone number (real or imagined): 555-282-5968

"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name: Thomas Anderson

Phone number: 555-879-8834

Next of Kin: Agent Smith


Previous Employment
Name of Company: Babbage's

Position: Register

Length of Employment: 6-7 months

Reason for leaving: Montary issues(that's a good way to say fired)



Ever Convicted of a Felony?: No

Name of Parole Officer: Unknown

Victim's Next of Kin: Jesus
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


There. I'm done.
_________________
I shake like a toothache,
When I hear myself sing.
Oh, my lies are only wishes,
I know I will die if I could come back new

Wilco- Ashes of American Flags
PostMon Aug 16, 2004 2:56 pm
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JohnnyPsycho

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Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
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Nobuyuki wrote:
Question: Can the clean underwear double as the swimsuit?

Yes, but you'll have to make sure that the underwear is of thick enough material as to not show off all the "goodies" when wet... If I see someone's junk through their ridiculously thin pair of tighty-whities, I'm immediatly going to vaporize them... end of story...

FinalDivineDragoon wrote:
Can we use the tie from said evening wear portion for said swimwear contest?

Only if said tie is a very wide one that can be fashioned into a suitable thong... again, if I see someone's nuts hanging out, it's laser-cannon time...

Hmmm, so far Green-Bird is in the lead... having someone who can speak Japanese and Predator can come in very useful here... but I am disappointed that he can't use an abacus, history's first computer... So far, you're the most qualified, but it's still too early to make a decision...
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostMon Aug 16, 2004 5:03 pm
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dougisfunny

Obsessor
 

Joined: Oct 29, 2002
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can't you an abacus? pitiful... those are so cool... not somethin i want to use all that often, but they're still damn cool...
_________________
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
PostMon Aug 16, 2004 9:55 pm
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JJc14

Obsessor
 

Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject: Re: Job Application... of DOOM!!
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[Note: Being the first of kind limits family-related information]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: J[illegible] J. C[illegible]

Age: 14ish (not in years)

D.O.B.: 13/32/00

Blood Type: (choose one) [O] [Blue]

Ethnicity: (choose all that apply) [White/Caucasian] [Cyborg American] (due to metallic additions during arm surgery)

Species: Unknown

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mother's Maiden Name: N/A

Father's Maiden Name: N/A

Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: N/A

Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: N/A

Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name: N/A

Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: N/A

Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: N/A

Your Maiden Name (if applicable): Unknown

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Known Inheritable Family Health Risks (ie: Heart Disease, Sicle-cell Anemia, Diabetes, Polydactyly, Near-sightedness, certain allergies, Lycanthropy): N/A

Known Inheritable Family Superpowers (ie: inherited superhuman mutations (X-gene syndrome), Lycanthropy): N/A

Other Known Inheritable Traits: N/A

Non-Inherited Superpowers: Extreme laziness, unnatural slacking-off abilities, hair growth

Do you have experience using or can you operate or perform the following tasks? (answer Yes or No)

Cash register: Yes

Computer: No

Bartending: Yes (self-service capacity only)

Waiting/Customer Service: Yes

Cooking: No

DJ equipment/PA or Sound Equipment: Yes

(Can you also supply your own DJ equipment?): No

Nano-robot based repair systems: No

Interdimensional portals/Stargates/Wormhole generators/Time machines: No/No/No/No

Abacus: Yes


Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): Yes (with a controller and game)


Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Yes: My handwriting


Other useful skills: 'Wannabe' musician


Other useless skills: 'Wannabe' samurai


Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): Guitar, bass, keyboard, sitar

Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): Shirt (L)/Pants (31)/Shoes (11)

Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview): See above (Evening wear will be reused as swimwear so as to avoid any mental shock fatalities)


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone number (real or imagined): 1-888-[illegible]

"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name: counterparadox

Phone number: Not known

Next of Kin: Unknown


Previous Employment
Name of Company: Martin's Bar

Position: Musician

Length of Employment: Many hours, few days

Reason for leaving: Laziness (is forgetting multiple, consecutive gigs a crime?)

Ever Convicted of a Felony?: No (answer subject to change)

Name of Parole Officer: You can call him Ray, or you can call him Jay...

Victim's Next of Kin: Unknown
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
_________________
"Life's a journey, not a destination..." -Aerosmith ('Amazing')
Current RPG(s): (None)
PostTue Aug 17, 2004 10:22 am
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Beefy

Obsessor
 

Joined: Nov 13, 2002
Post subject:
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*Wanders in followed by a large box.*

Beefy: Delivery for Martin’s Bar.

JohnnyPsycho: What is it?

Beefy: A 63 inch plasma TV.

JohnnyPsycho: What? Let me see the packaging slip.

*Beefy hands the paper to JohnnyPsycho.* It reads:

Ship to: Dreadnot
Address: Martin’s Bar
Bill to: Martin’s Bar
Payment: charged to corporate account
Box size: 66.9"(W) x 42.9"(H) x 21.7"(D)
Weight: 190.7 lbs
Customer comments: PUDDING MATCH, PUDDING MATCH, PUDDING MATCH!


JohnnyPsycho: WHAT?! Dreadnot, have you been charging things to the bar’s account again?

Beefy: So, um, where do you want this box?

JohnnyPsycho: *Notices the box is floating one foot above the floor with no one touching it.*
190 pounds, how do you lift it? Some kind of anti-gravity device? I should build a few of those.

Beefy: No device, just an ability I have.

JohnnyPsycho: *Shoves an application in Beefy’s face.*
Here, fill this out.

Beefy: Huh? Why?

*Laser makes a powering up sound.*

JohnnyPsycho: If you have a problem, then you can take it up with Mr. Laser.

Beefy: Um… ok, I’ll fill it out…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Beefy

Age: Laser me all you want, I’ll never tell.

D.O.B.: ditto

Blood Type: AB, Blue

Ethnicity: (choose all that apply) White/Caucasian, Other

Species: Human/Martian

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother's Maiden Name: Mildrid

Father's Maiden Name: Yodelyak

Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Gablanski

Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Elfonz

Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name: Lanker

Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: Glooberglobin

Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: Hibuya

Your Maiden Name (if applicable): N/A

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Known Inheritable Family Health Risks: None that I know of.

Known Inheritable Family Superpowers: ability to manipulate gravity

Other Known Inheritable Traits: None that I know of.

Non-Inherited Superpowers: ability to use Clow Cards


Do you have experience using or can you operate or perform the following tasks? (answer Yes or No)

Cash register: yes

Computer: yes

Bartending: no

Waiting/Customer Service: yes

Cooking: yes

DJ equipment/PA or Sound Equipment: yes

(Can you also supply your own DJ equipment?): yes

Nano-robot based repair systems: yes

Interdimensional portals/Stargates/Wormhole generators/Time machines: yes

Abacus: no, but I can use a slide rule


Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): none


Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Martian


Other useful skills: can crush things into cubes


Other useless skills: can build pyramids

Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): can crush things into other geometric shapes

Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): shirt: L, pants: 34x32, shoes: 11

Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview):
I think it would be in everyone's best interest that I not participate in the swimwear portion of the interview.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone number (real or imagined): 04-00-36-41-4891

"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name:
Tatiana

Phone number: doesn't use a phone number. Use her IP address instead (IPv6): 21DA:00D3:0000:2F3B:02AA:00FF:FE28:9C5A

Next of Kin: none


Previous Employment
Name of Company:
Planet Express

Position: delivery boy

Length of Employment: 4 years

Reason for leaving: got eaten by space wasp



Ever Convicted of a Felony?: crushing boss's car into a cube

Name of Parole Officer: Sausage Mahoney

Victim's Next of Kin: Fry Farnsworth

----------------------------------------------------------------
_________________
"Robots don't say 'ye'."
"I'll show ye!"
PostTue Aug 17, 2004 2:32 pm
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JohnnyPsycho

Veteran
 

Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Post subject:
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JohnnyPsycho: *reads the last two applications* Okay, boys, good job... and since I understand your reluctance to participate in the swimsuit competition, I have already arranged some special swimsuits for you...



JohnnyPsycho: And yes, if you wear the special swimsuits, you must wear a handlebar mustache...

dougisfunny: JP, is that huge laser cannon really necessary?

JohnnyPsycho: *points laser at doug* Hey!! You haven't filled out your application! You have no room to question my authority here! Get to writing, slacker!

dougisfunny: I'm just saying that it seems a bit unfair to force us all to fill out applications at gun-point...

JohnnyPsycho: Fine! You want fair? I'll fill out the application too. Of course, mine will only be used as a sample application, since (as I explained before) I am exempt from being cloned again.

===============================================

Name: JohnnyPsycho

Age: 24

D.O.B.: April 10th, 1980 A.D., 9:13:27 a.m.

Blood Type: [N/A]

Ethnicity: [Native American/Alaskan Native] [Furry/Anthropomorphic American]

Species: Lycanthrope

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother's Maiden Name: Ampey

Father's Maiden Name: Psychonovich

Paternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Kezhik

Maternal Grandmother's Maiden Name: Hudson

Father's Mother's Grandmother's Maiden Name: Gotti

Mother's Grandmother's Father's Mother's Maiden Name: Goins

Mother's First Cousin's Father's Mother's College Roommate's Maiden Name: Williams

Your Maiden Name (if applicable): Sagataw

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Known Inheritable Family Health Risks: Near-sightedness; Diabetes; Lycanthropy

Known Inheritable Family Superpowers: Lycanthropy; Supergenius

Other Known Inheritable Traits: Freckles

Non-Inherited Superpowers: All-encompassing Plot-Device; AT-Field generation


Do you have experience using or can you operate or perform the following tasks? (answer Yes or No)

Cash register:
Yes

Computer: Yes

Bartending: Yes (a little)

Waiting/Customer Service: Yes

Cooking:[b] Yes

[b]DJ equipment/PA or Sound Equipment:
Yes

(Can you also supply your own DJ equipment?): Yes

Nano-robot based repair systems: Yes (I wrote the book on it)

Interdimensional portals/Stargates/Wormhole generators/Time machines: Yes

Abacus: Yes


Martial Arts or other self-defense training (please be specific): Tae Kwon Do (red belt), Judo (yellow belt), Ninjitsu/Shinobi (Kame Clan under Hamato Yoshi), Kung Fu (Southern Crane Style, Wing Chun)

Fluent in any other languages? (please be specific): Not really... trying to learn Spanish and Ojibwe

Other useful skills: Insult newer members' intellects; Creation of new story-lines that may or may not result in the destruction of the very fabric of reality; encyclopedic knowledge of unspeakable torture techniques; super-genius mad scientist

Other useless skills: Left thumb is double-jointed; encyclopedic knowledge of unspeakable sexual acts

Talents (for the talent portion of the interview): For the Talent portion of the interview, I will perform a selection from Shakespeare's MacBeth

Clothing sizes (for the "evening wear" portion of the interview): Shirt: 17 1/2 (collar), 37/38 (sleave); T-shirt: XXL-Tall; Pants: 38x36; Shoes: 14M; Hat: 18 1/4

Measurements (for the "swimwear" portion of the interview): X-Large Wink

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone number (real or imagined): 555-HELP

"In Case of Emergency, please contact..."
Name:
KeroMia

Phone number: 555-2356 ext. 334

Next of Kin: KeroMia, AlucardPsycho, SophiePsycho


Previous Employment
Name of Company:
Deep 13 Laboratories, Inc. (a subsidiary of Gizmonics Instititue International)

Position: Level 13 security clearance is necessary for that information

Length of Employment: 5 years

Reason for leaving: um... I still work there


Ever Convicted of a Felony?: Yes (later acquitted during appeal when all witnesses went missing)

Name of Parole Officer: Buck Mercer

Victim's Next of Kin: Oh, don't worry... you won't be hearing from them either

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
_________________
"The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -Blaine Lee

"I plan to live forever. So far so good." -Steven Wright
PostTue Aug 17, 2004 6:54 pm
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Nobuyuki

Obsessor
 

Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Post subject:
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JohnnyPsycho wrote:
Of course, mine will only be used as a sample application, since (as I explained before) I am exempt from being cloned again.

*makes a whip motion with his hands* Wink
_________________
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."- C.S. Lewis
Wink
"Superman can't be emo. He can't cut himself."-CP
PostTue Aug 17, 2004 7:17 pm
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